129. Love

been rather absent from here lately - despite the fact that i have some major things to write about and a thousand and one pictures to go along with them.....


i'm in the dumps. a number of reasons why. won't bore you with them.


trying to get myself out of said dumps but it's hard. i get one leg over the side and then fall back in. i'm beginning to think my eyes are going to be eternally puffy and red. that my headaches are never going to cease and that eventually what's left of my withering brain is just going to leak out my ear...


the bright side to all this garbage is chris. no matter what i'm crying about or hopeless about - he's there for me. he understands me - or at least tries really hard too (i hardly understand myself sometimes....). he's amazingly patient. no matter what is going on it's made a bit brighter just knowing that i have him as my best friend.


despite what i may think and feel sometimes - deep down i know i'm the luckiest girl around :)

70. oh darling...

...please believe me...


gosh i love the beatles. love them. listening to them right now. been awhile since i rocked out to some music. did my little chair dance. wrote a bitchy blog.* oh wait.....


work has been okay lately. still not challanged. but still employed which considering the state of things right now is nothing to turn my nose up at. but today i did.


don't get me wrong. there are days when i love the fact that i get paid to crochet and knit all day. today was one of those days. but i didn't love it. instead i had this awful mind numbiness take over my brain. that kind that makes you crabby about pretty much everything. that was me today.


blah.....


i got home. threw my bags and coat and the floor. felt like i wanted to scream at something. someone. anything. instead i checked my e-mail (our internet has been down since friday night and just started working again today!). i got a lovely comment from my carrie in regards to my previous post. that made me smile and brightened my mood a bit.


then i went over and read dolce's blog. she had a lovely post about her husband that made me sit back and realize that chris was just like that. it made me smile. it also made me realize that there was no reason for the funky shit of a mood i was in. it made me appreciate him all over again. when he came out of the other room (where i think he had been hiding from me and my mood) i told him i was sorry for being such a turd. i love that man. a ton.


after that i continued reading her blog and realized she gave me an award for my blog. :) never had one of those. it made my day. i think she was one of the first non-real-life-friends to comment on my blog and i've been hooked on hers ever since. so thanks dolce! you are fabulous :)


and now i'm off to spend some time with that hunk of a man i'm engaged to! i had more to post but i'll save that for another time :)


*it's been brought to my attention (on more than one occasion and mostly by my mother) that i should watch what i'm blogging about. watch my language. yet she didn't mind (and in fact liked) the one blog i wrote that i deleted out of worry of offending her. hmm.....

66. 36

HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY BABY!

65. What have I been doing?

good question. wish i had an answer.


oh wait. i do. getting fat. the kind of fat where you can feel your belly jiggle when you shouldn't feel your belly jiggle. the kind of fat that makes you wish sweatpants were acceptable attire for the work place. the kind of fat that despite making me feel like complete and utter shit anchors me to my couch.


would someone like to feed me? as in the way your pets get fed. only a certain amount in the morning and a certain amount in the evening. basic nutrients - nothing fancy. no ability to snack. i'd also like someone to volunteer as a drill sergeant. make me work out. make me. please.


at the rate i'm going my wedding dress is going to be displayed on a mannequin as it will impossible for me to fit into without looking like a whale. that is if chris still feels like marrying someone who is a foot shorter but is going to weigh more than him soon.


depressing.


on to other things......


i knocked a stone out of my engagement ring! luckily i was able to find it - such a tiny stone buried in our shaggy bathroom rug! it should be back on my finger again by friday.


i've been getting massively insane headaches that make me want to chop off my head. i've also discovered that imatrex may as well be a sugar cube for the amount of relief it brings me.


humidifiers for adults are incredibly boring. beige. so i bought the one intended for kids - it's a red dragon :)


i bought the humidifier in hopes that it will relieve my eye problem. since friday my eyes have been so painfully dry that having them open fully hurts. eye drops make it worse as they burn my eyes and turn them red.


i could power a car i'm so fucking full of gas. sorry if that is too much information. but seriously. what is wrong with me? no major changes in diet - just full of gas. stress? it's embarrassing. and i just shared it with the world luckily only a few people read this.....


hmmm. perhaps bloated gassiness is related to such a high weight number. fingers crossed. gas easier to get rid of then fat. but i still must get rid of lots of fat. not to be thin but to be healthy.


i think i've figured out what i want to do for our wedding invitations. now if i could just remember to order the supplies!


speaking of the wedding. not that anyone has to bring a gift but...the plates we registered for (at macy's are more than 50% off right now!)


tomorrow chris turns 36! he's in duluth right now which gave me plenty of time to make his cake and wrap his gifts :) (hmmmm....licking the cake batter bowl was probably not good way to lose weight)


chris and i are merging. we are now on the same health insurance. car insurance. renters insurance. we also decided to drop our cable. realized we were becoming mindless drones and also that cable was a major distraction from other things we should be doing - uhhh...like...working out for instance.


we signed up for netflix. probably not going to be good in the distraction area. ah well. tomorrow we should be getting a documentary about the south pole. sex and the city season one and the sopranos season one (i've seen all be the last season and so help me god if anyone ruins it for me.....)


despite vowing to make christmas gifts this year we've instead bought a lot. guess i'll sell those 150 coasters i made......


i'm currently in the process of making five different knitted/crocheted projects. hopefully they get done soon.


it's now 10:53 and i really should be going to bed if i have any hope of getting my larded self out of bed in the morning and on the treadmill before work! i'm hoping my little dragon helps my eye problem and therefore allows a better nights sleep!

63. Rolls

i am a bread fanatic. love it cooked but i especially love bread dough. call me wierd - i don't care. and now that the roll making has becoming my job i get to eat as much of the dough as i want! :)


the rolls this year would not have been possible without the help of my darling and wonderful fiance :) due to my nasty cardboard cut on my knuckle and bandaid covering it i didn't want to be mucking my hands around in the dough. chris "volunteered" to knead it for me.....


he wasn't too excited about it. very messy. very sticky. but he was a sport and they turned out wonderful!