122. AGAIN!

i have another massive fucking headache. i want to rip the whole left side of my fucking head off.

i don't know what it is. i read symptoms for different headaches and it's not a migrane. it feels like a cluster headache but those are only suppsed to last about an hour - not 48!

i've taken 4 of my new headache meds so far. nothing. notta. great help those are.

i'm going to scream. i cannot stand this pain.

perhaps i should go into urgent care tomorrow. make them give something stronger. something that actually relieves pain. what a concept - a pain reliever that takes away your pain.....hmph....

why me?

103. Frump

monday mornings are not my friend.


with them comes the return of work. they also mean that the frump dump guard is on duty.

swear to god - this guard has been sick since he started about 3 months ago. he sits directly behind me. so not only do i get the lovely odor of feet, cig smoke and grease (it was so bad one day i had to make him move to the donor wating room) but he constantly is sniffling and snotting - the kind you can feel go down the back of your own throat. gag. and he coughs. but not a normal cough. more like a 'hack hack hack hack' - he sounds like a cat with a nasty hairball. horrid. and he's a slob. i came in one day to to find his uniform shirts spread out all over the floor, newspaper everywhere - food everywhere. disgusting!

sorry. i just had to get it off my chest. i feel like if i hear him honk, snot or hack one more time i'm going to turn around and smack him over the head (after i get a rubber glove becuase i don't think he's washed his hair since he started working here either...). he's just a big fucking frumpy douche.

what happened to natural selection?

only 34 minutes of his shift left - thank goodness.....

another fun thing - i'm currently having my THIRD cluster heacache in a week. perhaps that's making me exceptionally crabby this morning.........

72. AH!

i'm pissed.


i have so much i want to blog about - like the fact that i'm getting married very soon! i have lots and lots of pictures that i want to post! but i can't do any of it becuase our internet connection is just crap.


i finally gave up on getting any pictures uploaded and just blogged. i spent 40 minutes blogging. i went to hit publish and it deleted the whole thing and saying i had a problem with my internet connection. wtf?


comcast claims it's not them but that is just bullshit. and i'm sick of fucking paying for a service that we're not getting!


so....if anyone actually still checks my blog. i want to blog. i have lots of things to blog about. but i can't. right now i'm on my work computer again but i don't like signing into my account here becuase the system here is just complete and utter crap and i don't think it's very secure. AH!


so. hopefully soon i'll be able to blog about everything that has been happening. i'd also like to update our wedding website but unfortunately the thought of even using my computer (here or at home) just gives me a massive headache to even think about. Hmph.

68. More of the Asshole....

i was just thinking some more.....


what i meant to get across before is that we live in this society of instant gratification. we have to have everything now! now! now! and if we don't get it now! now! now! then we throw a massive fit.


we got ourselves into this mess by our need for instant gratification and i just don't think that applying the same method to get ourselves out is going to work. yes - bailing out everyone on planet earth would be lovely. but we all know that the reason most of these people are in such trouble is becuase they were irresponsible to begin with - so what makes anyone think that giving these same fucks a shit ton of money is all of a sudden going to make them responsible? it's stupid.


as much as i hate to say it maybe what this country needs is massively difficult times. perhaps it'll teach us to conserve more. recycle more. save more. lose that now! now! now! impulse.....

67. Bailout Schmailout

is anyone else tired of hearing about all of this bailout crap? about corporate CEO's flying around in luxury jets to beg for money while at the same time refusing to renegotiate their million dollar salaries. about head honchos getting the money and then going on same lavish retreat.


all this and then we have our government telling us to spend! spend! spend!


with what? monopoly money?


i get that things are bad right now. but what i don't get is the spending shit. shouldn't we be saving any money we have? no! no! let's break down the doors to wal-mart - kill an employee - and max out our eighth credit card on a bunch of shit that we don't need! hooray!


i was listening to the radio today and they were discussing the big 3 bailout. this woman was trying to defend them by saying that it wasn't their fault. times are tough right now. people can't get their credit approved to buy cars.


let's back track here. and pardon me if i don't have all the facts - i'm just calling it like i see it. correct me if i'm wrong. 'people cannot get credit approved'. hmmmmmmm......


perhaps people are having problems with their credit because they've bought a bunch of fucking shit in the past that they can't afford. like mcmansions. like houses on wheels that the auto industry calls cars (please. if you seriously went out and bought a hummer because you thought it was cool you're a douche. we all know you just have an incredibly tiny penis). and no i don't feel bad about those people that were duped into thinking that they could afford that big awesome house. you should be able to look at your salary of $50,000 and realize that you cannot afford that $300,000 home.


i suppose i sound like a big witch. i know there are hard working people out there who are in a crap situation that was beyond their control. they did what they were supposed to and lived responsibly. i don't mean to include them in this rant. i'm just talking about the fuckers who think they can go about willy nilly and then hold their hand out the minute it all goes wrong.


urgh. my thought process is just all over and not making sense. i just hate that people who fuck everything up get all this money and the ones who do it all right suffer. ya know?


i graduated high school. college. i work a full time job. yet if i lived on my own i'd be unable to afford my own place to live. i have to pay for my birth control. that one always kills me. the birth control. i work full time and pay for it. there are people out there who can get it for free. pills and condoms - two forms of birth control - free! yet they go out and make babies and then say they need help from the government. screw that shit. sex makes babies. buying all your crap on credit creates debt. common knowledge here.....


i'm going to go relieve some stress now. i'm so cranky i can't tell if i've made a point or just made myself look like a royal ass. ah well....

54. I'll be how old tomorrow??

yeah. my thoughts exactly.

52. Shut-Up Already. Please.

i am so sick to god of this damn election i could scream.


chris is watching the debate right now and they were seriously arguing about who has stood up against their own party more. if you disagree with your damn party so much (McCain) then you should have fucking run as an independent. seriously - the man has run campaign ads showing how much he's fought against republicans. wtf?


and while i'm on the topic of stupidity and complete and utter morons - i'd like to take a look at drivers. if you cannot obey traffic laws - you are a moron. if you can obey them and choose to ignore them - you are a moron. if you speed more than 5 miles over the speed limit - you are a moron. if you cannot use your turn signal - you are a moron. i am seriously sick of people talking about how bad teenage drivers are. in the past oh - year - i could probably count on two hands the number of idiot teenage drivers i've encountered. adults on the other hand - shit - i don't have the time to count that high. you get your drivers licences when you're 16. after that you have to renew it. you might have to retake in written test when you become so old and senile that you can't even remember what a car is for. how stupid is this? people should be required to retake the driving and written portion of this test every 10 years (at least). because i'm telling you - teenagers are not our biggest concern. adults are.


and with that i conclude my nightly rant.

50. Ignorance

i'm in the process of watching (although now i'm just listening to) the vice presidential debate. the topic of gay rights came up. i can't even begin to explain how angry hearing these ignorant fucks talk about this makes me. how fucking stupid can people be?


if you don't like swearing go read someone else's blog....


how people can have a problem with two consenting adults having a loving relationship boggles my mind. i'm literally so angry i can barely form sentences.


people who call homosexuality gross and disgusting are fucking ignorant bastards and in my opinion don't deserve the rights they have. i had a co-worker say to me that he saw to guys kiss on the street and it freaked him out. he was also kinda freaked out by a guy waiting in our lobby who happened to have a pink ipod and be knitting. really? what exactly about any of those behaviors affects your life? i remember hearing al franken say that just because he sees two men holding hands doesn't make him want to turn to his wife after 40 (don't know the exact number) years of marriage and say 'sorry honey - but that looks more fun.' if you are secure in your relationships than seeing someone else's - gay or straight shouldn't fucking affect you. the fact that it disgusts you shows how ignorant you really are.


and most people oppose this on a religious stance. they say it's not what god intended. how in the fuck do they know what god intended. and even if god did intend marriage to be between a man and a woman - religion in this country is supposed to be separate from the government and the last time i checked just saying 'i do' in your church did not mean you were married. marriage is a fucking legal contract - legal. you go to the courthouse to get it. so fucking take god out of it. if you believe in god and believe that marriage is between a man and a woman then fine - but do not ever tell me that god fucking dictates what i have the right to do in my personal life. ever.


hypocrites are what those people are. they go on and on about 'love thy neighbor' and then go protest that their neighbor bill is going to hell because he lives with his partner Sam. fuck that. if all these damned religious people are so up and mighty on the topic of marriage exactly why do they go to such lengths to deny that jesus had any kind of relationship (and god forbid an actual marriage) to mary? aren't those people big on marriage and then lots of babies? but according to them jesus didn't do any of that. perhaps jesus wasn't married - perhaps he was gay.


and then there are the fucks that go on and on and on and fucking on about whether it's something your born with or a choice. WHO THE FUCK CARES. i should be able to decide tomorrow that i'm fucking gay and not have it affect anyone but myself. so you're born with it. so you choose. i could care less. either way you still deserve to share the same legal rights as everyone else.

sorry if this blog isn't completely coherent. like i said i'm just incredibly angry right now. i just do not understand on any level how people who are anti-gay rights and anti-gay period do not see that this is just like racism. segregation. you are segregating a couple from seeing each other in the hospital. from sharing the same rights as other couples. yet most of these people will tell you that racism is wrong and that segregating is wrong but i don't see a difference - do you?


writing this has not calmed me down like i hoped it would. hearing both parties talk about this bullshit makes me not want to vote for either one. how can we tolerate such ignorance to lead our country? how?


why can't someone get up there and point out the fact that all of this is bull. because god forbid you tell the american people they're ignorant. well you know what america - a lot of you fucking are and you need to start looking a little harder at that fucking flag you fly. look a little harder at that constitution. liberty for all. justice for all. freedom from religious persecution. not just for the heterosexual.

44. Isolation

okay. i'm more than upset now. i'm getting serioulsy pissed off.


the united states would like to isolate russia for not abiding by the cease fire agreement in it's recognition of south ossetia's and abkhazian's independence. also - and most importantly (in their minds) invading georgia.


hello! does no one see how fucking absurd this is? georgia invaded south ossetia! russia reacted in an effort to protect the people of south ossetia. what is so hard to understand about this?


today putin claimed that the united states orchastrated this whole ordeal - as in they were behind georgia's attack on south ossetia. he claims they did this to give an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. i don't know about this last part but as soon as i heard of this mess i thought about the first thing he said - and i wouldn't put something like that past our government i'm sorry to say.


agh! what does our government not understand about the fact that we basically have no fucking miliatry to spare right now? what do they not understand about russia having a valid point? i am just shocked that no one in the higher ups (unless i'm missing it somewhere) is against this isolation of russia. do they not understand what a horrid idea this is? oh wait - the bush administration doesn't think. at all.


am i alone here? is anyone else worried about this? i wish i knew some way to get involved...it's bothering me that much.....

UPDATE:
i changed my mind. perhaps putin is right about this giving an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. by creating this whole mess with russia it brings back that sense of fear that the republicans have been oh-so-fond of using these past eight years. so is this a ploy to keep their control of the white house? i would not put it past them......

39. How??

how could they do that to her? she came in fourth on the vault after the chinese girl fell on her knees and the korean gold medal winner landed out of bounds not once but twice??? seriously!??


someone needs to fix that error - it was unbelievable and i feel so bad for alicia....

38. Someday......

someday chris and i will live in a house and have our very own washer and dryer.....until that day i have to share those machines with a bunch of fuck monkeys who cannot tell time.....


the washing machine takes 38 minutes. the dryer takes 55 minutes. i went up to start 3 loads of laundry (we only have 3 machines). two of the machines were full of wet clothes. i waited for about ten minutes and then just moved their clothes to the dryer and started my own. knowing that the dryer takes a bit longer i waited an additional 25 minutes before going to switch my clothes. i went up and the moron only dried one load of clothes and that load still has 18 minutes on it! the other load is still sitting there all wet!


i'm timing the fucker. i'll give them 20 minutes and then their shit goes on the folding table - wet or dry i don't care. it's inconsiderate and a fucking waste of my day to have to sit around and wait for some ass who can't tell time to finish washing their camo shorts.


sorry - i get slighty upset with idiots......


UPDATE:
so - i went upstairs only to discover that the little shit took out the one load and then started that other load! another 55 minutes to wait for a dryer! luckily i was able to cram 3 loads of wet laundry into 2 dryers. oh - and they forgot to clean the lint traps. Word to all Idiots: No one wants to clean off your nasty fuzz and icky hairs from the trap - do it yourself!


i'm done doing laundry for the day. i'll let chris do the rest tomorrow morning when they probably won't be so busy. i'm off to knit! :)

21. One of These Topics Does Not Belong.....

so.....


i'm at work today with james (the talker). i think he's started to get the hint that i don't care to chat and so he's backed off. that and he's distracted from watching the television he carries in each and every day to watch such enlightening shows as Tyra, Dr. Phil and Oprah. let it be known that i cannot stand any of these shows - dr. phil especially.*


for the most part of i've learned to tune it out but today i walked into something i was not prepared for. i went to wash out a few of my lunch dishes and came back to hear Oprah's favorite gynecologist (do people actually put those in a favorite category?) on. the topic being discussed at that moment just happened to be finding your clitoris. i turned around and walked upstairs to chat with a co-worker for the next 20 minutes until my shift ended.


i hate to make fun of him because i really think he just doesn't get it. things that click in normal people completely bypass this man. i just couldn't stand to sit in that hot cramped little space with him smelling like sweat listening to someone like oprah talk about having an orgasm. not work appropiate. (i didn't bother saying anything to anyone as i'd probably be told to just step outside my comfort zone again....please....)




*people who go on that show (and indeed many who watch it) need a massive slap across the face and also to be sterilized from producing anymore of their kind. sorry - but it had to be said.