107. 6.5

6 hours 30 minutes

i'm going to lose my fucking mind

78. Funny

ha.


ha. ha.


we experienced a rather large (the largest this winter) snow storm today. in response the head honcho made the announcement that all non-essential employees could go home upon receiving permission from their supervisor.


YAY! (i thought) because....
...definition of my job: least essential employee in entire organization.


(i spent the entire day doing virtual food jigsaw puzzles online)


seriously. i did.


then i get a call from my supervisor informing that my position has now been upgraded to essential.


so. i sat until it was time to go home. what normally takes me 15 minutes took me one hour and forty five minutes tonight. 1 hr 45 min. and those of you know me know that i do not handle traffic. it makes me want to poke out my eyeballs and drive my car into other cars.


i was determined to not get more stressed than i was. i was going to relax. ha. it's like my brain thought about that intention - laughed - and then pushed over the mountain of a freak-out-to-do list and make me panic.


but.


while i did pount and ponder the existence of life and what a joke my "essential" job is i also walked for an hour on the treadmill (that on top of the 40 minutes i did before work this morning). so. while i still kind of want to poke my eyeballs out i feel better. until i see my belly in the mirror. and jiggly arms.


going to go get ready for bed. dream of london. dream of london. dream of...crap...flying...


perhaps a cocktail and then bed. dreamless sleep.

49. Blah.....

have not posted in about a gazillion years - or so it seems. must get life in some kind of order. list of things i have needed to do but never seem to do are......


1. remember birthdays. i suck at this. i never get cards/gifts out on time. ever. facebook is making remembering easier. unfortunately i rarely log on to it anymore....


2. wedding stuff. still have not updated site. still have not written glowing things about my wonderful friends who are going to be a big part of that day (i love you all - really!). still have not sent out wedding parties information to other people in wedding party despite promising to have it out by last sunday.


3. have not made out a budget for chris and i. talk about it at least three times a week and have still done nothing.


4. exercising. i did it tonight and hope to do it more. cannot have back boobage on my wedding day. cannot.


5. applied for jobs. talk about it. have done nothing. how exactly i plan to move and pay bills without doing this is beyond me.


6. eat healthy. damn smarties. damn ice-cream with sprinkles.


7. not stress so much. (if anyone figures out how to do this please tell me)


8. clean out car. it's a mobile garbage can. gross.


9. learn how to fix mistakes in knitting. this way i'll avoid crying when i screw up.


10. figure out what i want to do with my life. preferrably before i die.


11. show appreciation for my friends more. it's all inside - tons of great ideas and sentiments - just need to start projecting them.


12. seriously stop stressing. i feel an attack of vertigo on the horizon and this makes me very unhappy (and sick)


that's what i got for now. must go drink lots of water before i get even sicker. damned ears.

44. Isolation

okay. i'm more than upset now. i'm getting serioulsy pissed off.


the united states would like to isolate russia for not abiding by the cease fire agreement in it's recognition of south ossetia's and abkhazian's independence. also - and most importantly (in their minds) invading georgia.


hello! does no one see how fucking absurd this is? georgia invaded south ossetia! russia reacted in an effort to protect the people of south ossetia. what is so hard to understand about this?


today putin claimed that the united states orchastrated this whole ordeal - as in they were behind georgia's attack on south ossetia. he claims they did this to give an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. i don't know about this last part but as soon as i heard of this mess i thought about the first thing he said - and i wouldn't put something like that past our government i'm sorry to say.


agh! what does our government not understand about the fact that we basically have no fucking miliatry to spare right now? what do they not understand about russia having a valid point? i am just shocked that no one in the higher ups (unless i'm missing it somewhere) is against this isolation of russia. do they not understand what a horrid idea this is? oh wait - the bush administration doesn't think. at all.


am i alone here? is anyone else worried about this? i wish i knew some way to get involved...it's bothering me that much.....

UPDATE:
i changed my mind. perhaps putin is right about this giving an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. by creating this whole mess with russia it brings back that sense of fear that the republicans have been oh-so-fond of using these past eight years. so is this a ploy to keep their control of the white house? i would not put it past them......

23. Stiff Neck

i've gone and done it. stressed myself to the point where it literally pains me to move my neck.


fuck...i hate my job.