20. In Other News....

Holy Crap! Our Wedding is in less than 300 days!


i'll post more about wedding related things at a later date - but in the meantime - i need suggestions about wedding websites. i'm not happy with the one i'm currently using (ewedding). i'm finding it annoying to navigate and so are some other people i've talked to.


so - send me your suggestions! thanks :)

19. Rough Start

today - like most days i guess - i did not want to go to work. but since 'turning this new leaf' and trying not to complain/hate my job i tried to figure out why. why i've dreaded (often times to the point of tears) going to work. it's happened at pretty much every job i've ever had. i think i have an idea....


anxiety


i suffered from it in college - to the point where i physically could not leave my dorm. i've felt attacks a couple of times since - usually at social gatherings where i may only know one person and am just 'out of my element' (aka knitting on the couch). it can be pretty severe in the mornings before work (although the tears have been absent thank goodness) but usually by mid day i've calmed down. i don't know if it's anxiety - i don't feel particulary anxious about being around co-workers and people coming in. i think the anxiety stems from not wanting to leave home. i'd be much happier and content to stay put. not that i want to become a hermit - far from it. but being 'forced' to leave somehow bothers me.


i know how lame all this might sound. i'm 27 years old. i'll have to do some research into this and see if i'm onto something. i think i've tried to explain that anxiety away by dumping it out as a hatred of my actual job - when in reality i don't (well i do but not as much as you might be led to believe reading this blog or talking to me).


so....those are my ponderings for the day. thoughts? anyone else out there have (or have had) issues with anxiety?