me

137. Debate Closed

2010-03-29T15:40:00.002-05:00

after much debate (not really) i've made up my mind!

i'm going back to 'the perfectionist receptionist'.

i just like the title so much and all it really needed was a makeover (which i've now done).

so if you want to find me that's where to go!

136. The Debate

2010-03-26T12:23:00.003-05:00

long time no blog!

for some reason i had the urge to resume blogging again today. out of the blue.

the question is - where to blog. i have my previous blog 'the perfectionist receptionist', i have this blog, and i have a blog that i started this past summer and posted only five entries....

i stopped blogging because the things i wanted to blog about were not really things i wanted everyone who knows about this blog to be reading. so i started an anonymous blog but i missed posting pictures. hmmmm....

perhaps i'll just start posting on here and the anonymous blog. or just the anonymous blog. i like the layout and picture header on this one (that for the life of me i couldn't recreate on the new one - advice?). dagnabbit. what to do?

while i'm deciding let me know (not that there is anyone who still checks this blog anymore...) if you'd like the link to my other blog. perhaps i'll give it you :)

135. You Say It's Your Birthday!?

2009-08-25T12:07:00.003-05:00

HAPPY BIRHTDAY CARRIE!

134. No!

2009-07-17T21:54:00.002-05:00

no! i DO NOT want to pack anymore!

chris and i are in the final stages of packing our apartment up. tomorrow we head to duluth!

things have been kinda crazy lately - hence the complete lack of blogging. since i currently have no job now though i should plenty of time to start this up again in the next few weeks - if anyone still reads this that is. seriously - does anyone read this anymore?

133. What We Danced To.....

2009-06-28T00:47:00.003-05:00

for those of you who were at the wedding you know that we gave out mix cd's as favors. for those of you who did not attend the wedding....now you know....

i just updated the playlist on here to include (most of) the songs on those cd's in case you were curious. take a listen :)

132. Christian Turns One

2009-06-27T22:05:00.004-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN

131. This Story "Warrant"s a Post!

2009-06-11T11:47:00.004-05:00

i know. i have A LOT to be posting about. but i've had a lot going on.

so to all who read my blog (you 3 know who you are! :)) i promise to post more wedding/honeymoon related bits soon. hopefully.

in the meantime i'm going to tell you a story that i find to be super funny. perhaps it's one of those 'you had to be there' funnies. all i know is that chris will be pissed i posted it....(not really)...

last night we were just lounging on the bed chatting and petting our cat minerva. chris was in the process of giving her a pretty vigerous head scratching when he started singing 'heaven' by warrant.

i started to laugh and he explained that it was the first thing that came into his head when he looked into minerva's eyes. she looked like she was really enjoying herself i guess. that just made me laugh even harder.

my husband (that is going to take some getting used to) looks into the cats eyes and the first thing that pops into his head is a warrant song. that he sings. how is that not funny?

sorry chris!

130. Blank Stare

2009-06-03T14:57:00.003-05:00

i am so unbelievably absolutley without an ounce of doubt bored out my mind....

it's been two years people. i'm sick of hearing 'as we continue to develop your position' - just fucking develop it already!

129. Love

2009-06-02T10:14:00.005-05:00

been rather absent from here lately - despite the fact that i have some major things to write about and a thousand and one pictures to go along with them.....

i'm in the dumps. a number of reasons why. won't bore you with them.

trying to get myself out of said dumps but it's hard. i get one leg over the side and then fall back in. i'm beginning to think my eyes are going to be eternally puffy and red. that my headaches are never going to cease and that eventually what's left of my withering brain is just going to leak out my ear...

the bright side to all this garbage is chris. no matter what i'm crying about or hopeless about - he's there for me. he understands me - or at least tries really hard too (i hardly understand myself sometimes....). he's amazingly patient. no matter what is going on it's made a bit brighter just knowing that i have him as my best friend.

despite what i may think and feel sometimes - deep down i know i'm the luckiest girl around :)

128. Rude

2009-05-27T16:03:00.003-05:00

so a person (who shall remain nameless) here at hell (read - work) was pretending to give a shit about the fact that i just got married and all the while i'm hacking up half my lung onto the ground - you think she could have asked how i was feeling? nope. nothing.

it's happened three times! just fucking rude.....

and while i'm at it (the venting) this same person has been talking to me like i'm two since i got back. uh yeah - i went on my honeymoon - i did not have half my fucking brain removed....

127. The Day Before....

2009-05-21T10:14:00.027-05:00

friday the 8th of may 2009......

the day before the wedding. rehearsal day. an exciting day. a lot more friends and family were arriving. there was a lot to get done. and what would the day before the wedding be without the bride having a minor panic attack?

first thing that morning i had a doctor's appointment. i specifically made it in duluth becuase none of the doctor's back in the cities seemed to be listening to me in regards to my headaches. the last one i had talked to gave me a pain med that was the equivalent of two ibprofin when i told her that i had been taking up to four of these at a time with no results. it was like talking to a brick wall. i just wanted a pain med that worked. one that i didn't have to take before i had the pain (i'm not psychic) and on that didn't require me to lay down for hours and hours. i just wanted a pain med that took away my pain. i was terrified that i was going to get a headache on my wedding or on the honeymoon. luckily my old doctor listened to me. he gave me two different kinds of meds along with his phone number in case i needed him at all over the weekend. i was so thankful!

chris picked me up afterwards so we could run some errands. it was then that i had my minor panic attack. just started crying for no reason. poor chris was at a loss as to what to do and i was of no help as i didn't even know why i was crying. the more i tried to explain the more confusing it got. a mess in short. by the time we got to the mall i was in no shape to actually go in and make my purchase. luckily i have the best (then fiance now husband) in the world. he marched right into Victoria Secrets and asked them for exactly what i'd requested - granny panties that wouldn't ride up my butt'. evidently the sales staff thought he was pretty cute :) seriously though - do i have a great guy or what?

after that we made our way home. my sister, her husband and little boys had arrived by this time so we watched them try on a few different suits for the wedding - so cute! i swear she has the cutest little boys i've ever seen! chris went and got lunch. i showered. his mom arrived. we ate. then we headed down to meet my mom and grandma at greysolon to start setting up for the wedding!

(did i mention that i have the greatest guy in the world? while i was running about all frazzled he remembered to take pictures of everything! i'm so thankful he did - i would have been super bummed at having forgot.)

when we arrived the tables were already set thanks to the great staff that works there. the room looked fantastic! i was so pleased! and really happy that i'd picked gold to go along with the brown and ivory for the color scheme and not pink as it just fit the room perfectly! it was gorgeous! i just walked around admiring everything - in awe that chris and i would be getting married there at that time the very next day!

the room itself has this beautiful wooden bar - i love it! my mom and chris's mom were there getting the centerpieces ready. since my mom never drinks it was funny to see her at the bar working it like she knew her way around. the centerpieces were borrowed from my matron of honor - carrie - who'd used them at her own wedding. fitting that'd we'd be using them since that's where chris and i met :) my mom picked out the bead work and candles that went into the vases - it was perfect! she did a fantastic job!

she also made the wise decision to get little boxes for the candy table - something i hadn't even thought of. grandma was busy getting those all set up for us. our mom's were also responsible for putting together a quiz (3 different versions) about chirs and i. mom printed them out on ivory parchment paper and tied them with brown ribbons - one for every guest. along with an answer sheet for each table. it was super cute!

did i mention how beautiful the location was? i don't think i mentioned that the site itself used to be the grand hotel in duluth. it's now mainly apartments for seniors but there is still a ballroom and the moorish room which is where we were to be. the actual wedding took place in the lobby area shown above. it was perfect. as you walked in the guests were seated around the fountain and the actual ceremony took place on the steps leading up to the moorish room. i know i'm probably biased but it was just perfect :)

the actual rehearsal was set to begin at 4pm. i think it really started sometime after that as the person in charge of showing us where we were supposed to actually walk down (there was no clear traditional aisle) was running a bit late. we were also having problems with the dj but that's a different story and one that i don't really want to dwell on since it takes away from all the good that happened :) (what's this - michelle is actually making an attempt at being positive and not jumping on the chance to complain....hmmm....). anyhow. rabbi amy (shown above with my mom) showed up right on que and was fantastic. she was able to take charge and get everyone in their proper places. she also helped us to figure out where the aisle would be and from there the rehearsal began!

we got everyone lined up on the upper level and tried to get it timed right to come down the stairs and into position. this was no easy task with two four year old ring bearers, a five year old flower girl and a two year old flower boy. in reality it wasn't that hard - just amusing. the flower boy threw his basket over the balcony :) the dj did not have the song we wanted to walk down the aisle to (argh!) so instead we rehearsed to ABBA's 'Dancing Queen' - with everyone dancing down the stairs it went pretty quickly - not the slow processional we'd hoped for but it was fun :) and did i mention hot? dear god -the place was like a boiler room! luckily we found out that the moorish room would be air conditioned the day of the wedding - otherwise i think people would have started to pass out....

the rehearsal was great. everyone was so easy going and willing to do anything to help. chris and i really blessed to have such fantastic friends and family! since we live far apart from most of our friends it was so great having them all in the same room and helping us out. i don't know if we'll ever be able to thank them enough!

oh - after the rehearsal itself aj (the lady in charge) showed up and took us to the bridal suite where the bridal party was going to be getting ready the next day. it was perfect! tables and mirrors for everyone to use. beautiful big windows full of natural lighting. a really nice dressing mirror that mark (kari's boyfriend) was kind enough to pose in front of for us :)

after all was said and done we headed down to the blackwater lounge (located right off the lobby inside greysolon) and had a much needed drink :) again - it was great to have all of our friends gathered around a big table getting to know one another :) i had a june in january or a january in june or something like that - can't remember - martini. it was super yummy! and it bubbled so it was fun to boot (they put a little pellet of dry ice into the bottom of the glass). in face it was so good and made me feel so good that i put don in charge of bringing in some vodka and pinapple juice the next day in case i needed it before the wedding :)

after a quick drink and stop at home for a change of clothes we headed up to hartley nature center for the grooms dinner. in order to try and save some money we went with something pretty low-key. subway, chips and soda. nice. comfortable. it was fun. everyone got a chance to relax and chatter.

we were also able to give out the gifts we had bought for the wedding party here. well...chris was able to give out his gifts to the groomsmen. i on the other hand - being so organized - did not have mine on hand and ended up passing them out as we were getting ready the next day. i really liked the gifts chris picked out though. personalized cufflinks for everyone. don got some great KISS ones. bryan had ski ones. nathan had some bike ones and dave had some airplane control panel ones. (if i haven't mentioned it before - etsy is a fantastic site to get customized orders!) i liked them so much that i ordered scrabble ones for my dad. one 'L' and one 'R' :)

uhhh..yeah....i did mention that it was pretty low-key, right? :) (nice chris!)

after dinner i made the very wise decision to go out and have some more drinks at blackwaters. my intent was to just have one. then i was going to go home. take advantage of my parents lovely bathtub and have a soak in those wonderful smelling chai tea bath leaves that vija got me for my bachelorette gift. then i was going to get a good nights sleep.......yeah......

instead i stayed out till 12:30. i had three martini's and some chocolate fondue. while i had a great time i would end up regretting my decision later on. i had to include the picture above. it's chris's brother nathan and below is nathan and his wife mandy (who just happen to make up a fantastic band that you should check out here). nathan never really ever drinks and it turns out that this was the first alcholic beverage he'd ever ordered - in honor of our wedding! evidently we were all trying to attain a hangover for the big day..... :)

halfway through the evening the guys in the group decided to head off and play pool. it worked out perfectly becuase right then my sister and her husband showed up and our little table area was more than packed! and like i said - we stayed there till around 12:30 then headed back home. i know that the bride and groom are traditionally not supposed to stay in the same place the night before but since we didn't have a lot of options chris ended up sleeping on the couch in the basement of my parents house and i stayed on the third floor. for reasons that i'll mention later i was incredibly grateful that he was so close.....

and with that this massively long post has come to an end!

126. Dear Bobbie

2009-05-20T18:32:00.003-05:00

as i mentioned earlier i've been listening to the cd's we made for the wedding. there is one song in particular that i've been playing over and over.

it's 'dear bobbie' by yellowcard. he wrote it for his grandparents. the first time i heard it chris and i were driving out to visit his family in willmar. he had this cd he'd picked up from the library and said this song reminded him of me. it made me cry.....

follow this link and listen - or - if you came to the wedding then just play it :)

125. It Begins.....

2009-05-20T17:34:00.012-05:00

thursday. the 7th of may 2009.

this was the first day of my two week and two day vacation. it also meant i had a lot to get done. and as usual i set out to do a ton and ended up accomplishing little. i wasn't stressed about the wedding persay - i knew everything would be fine. it was things like having the spare room cleaned before we left so we wouldn't have to return to a mess that were freaking me out. i literally felt like all of my nerve endings were just fried and crackling.....

by 11 that morning i was basically running back and forth between rooms and forgetting why i had run to the room to begin with. at this point we decided to we needed to take a break. we met up with chris's dad, his wife heather and aunt fran at the wedding shoppe to pick up tux's.

after we picked up tux's we went and had lunch at cafe latte on grand. i love that place! i was starving though which meant that my eyes were about three hundred times bigger than my belly and i ended up ordering too much food - sooo yummy though! after that we made plans to meet up with his family later that night for dinner at my parents (an event at which i forgot to take any pictures...).

once home again we finally managed to get everything packed. we double checked everything and thought we were good to go! got the car packed up to the brim and headed out only to realize that we had forgotten to pick up my dad's tux! luckily we realized this before getting too far away so we just popped back by the wedding shoppe and got it. then we were on our way to duluth! oh wait - right as we hit forest lake chris's sunglasses decided to break - so we had to stop and fix those....

it took a bit of fancy working but chris finally got them fixed and then we were off....again...for the second time that day! yay!

i made chris listen to one of the cd's we'd made for wedding favors on the way up. i'm sure he's going to be pretty sick of them soon - me on the other hand can't get enough. in fact - i'm listening to them as i type this out - making it a bit hard to concentrate but i can't bring myself to turn it off.....

okay. typing may become difficult. 'waterloo' is playing and it makes me want to dance and sing. it also makes me giggle and think of chris but i'll mention that in a later post. we finally made it up to duluth. and for some reason i turned into a tourist taking about ten pictures of the city as we drove in. we had to drive down superior street to meet his family so they could follow us up to my parents house so of course i had to take pictures of greysolon as we passed :)

and now 'you're my best friend' by queen is playing. luckily i'm home alone and singing to my hearts content - hopefully the neighbors don't mind! once we reached duluth we got his family up to my parents where we grilled some hamburgers and just spent then evening chatting. i've never seen my parents house so full of people! my grandma had flown in from kentucky along with my cousin and her boyfriend. chris's dad and heather were there. my brother (who had just graduated from college the previous sunday) and a few hours after we showed up kari and her boyfriend mark showed up!

later on that night we (chris and i, my brother david, arielle and josh, kari and mark) all went out for a drink. i had had my heart set on going to blackwaters - a new lounge in the greysolon plaza but i realized that my cousin wasn't yet old enough to drink so we headed down to luce instead. i know for the most part we were all pretty tired but we still had a good time.

i'd never been out drinking with my brother before. i'd seen him drinking before - an incident that happened years ago. he was playing edward forty hands with some friends. if you haven't heard of this it's where you duct tape a forty in each hand and then can't do anything until you've finished them. i was brought down to help them tape up their hands. a while later i stopped back down to loud chatter and then my brother saying 'dude! dude! that is my sister!' (i suppose you had to be there...)

this time around we just ordered a few drinks including a blow job for kari and i. we were unsuccessful in our attempts to down them in the proper fashion to which my brother could not believe. so i had ordered him one and he demonstrated - with a little too much skill i might add - how it was done. rather funny :) ah - and the phrases ' when david and....' i'll stop there. i need to write all this down in my journal before it leaves my overcrowded brain.....

oh yes. i ordered kari a red headed slut shot. (she has red hair) she loved me for this of course :)

after that it was time for bed with a busy busy day ahead of us..........

124. WOW (again...)

2009-05-19T23:24:00.006-05:00

We're Married!

(just you never mind the food stuck in my teeth...)

more updates coming soon. promise. just got back from london. been up for almost 20 hours. why am i not sleepy you ask? a combo of nerve pills, nyquil and then the massive caffine pill of a headache med i took for..well...my headache. so far no relief from headache but a major 'deer in headlights' look on my face....sort of like the one above....

123. WOW

2009-05-11T08:13:00.001-05:00

chris and i are now married.

and we are going to be leaving for our honeymoon in about 5.5 hours.

uhhh....WOW!

122. AGAIN!

2009-05-01T22:17:00.003-05:00

i have another massive fucking headache. i want to rip the whole left side of my fucking head off.

i don't know what it is. i read symptoms for different headaches and it's not a migrane. it feels like a cluster headache but those are only suppsed to last about an hour - not 48!

i've taken 4 of my new headache meds so far. nothing. notta. great help those are.

i'm going to scream. i cannot stand this pain.

perhaps i should go into urgent care tomorrow. make them give something stronger. something that actually relieves pain. what a concept - a pain reliever that takes away your pain.....hmph....

why me?

121. Single Digits

2009-04-30T14:58:00.003-05:00

we're down to the single digits. 9 days.

so we're making our own favors for the wedding. mix cd's. i bought a variety of cute cd packaging kits. they look great. one problem. one of the songs had been bought from itunes. in this instance itunes will only let you burn 7 copies. so i had to get that song from another source - one that chris had signed up for. download the song ('all i want is you' by barry louis palisar/juno soundtrack). great. burnt about 100 cd's.

the other night chris and i were working on something and listening to the playlist and that song came on. guess we should have listened to the whole song. at the end the singer (at least i think it's him) comes on in some twangy (more twangy than his normal voice) and starts singing another version of the song. one that includes one person being the cow and the other person being the udders. uhhhhh....yeah.....

if you're coming to the wedding. i apologize. i can't fix it. well i could but i don't have the funds to buy more cds and more packaging kits - especially now that over 100 have been made. hopefully people will just laugh. hopefully they won't think there is something wrong with chris and i.....

120. Z

2009-04-29T11:52:00.001-05:00

cramps : check

cold grey day : check

sore muscles : check

lack of work to do : check

cramps : check

cramps : check

today would be an awesome day to just go home. crack the bedroom window open for that cool air and pitter patter of rain. to crawl into bed and sleep. sleep. sleep.......

119. Most is Good

2009-04-28T10:58:00.003-05:00

today is tuesday

i'm so smart, right?

last night i got home and decided it was time to do a weigh-in along with measurements. the last time i did this was on february 19th. i lost a total of 4.8 pounds (although i prefer the total of 6 that the Wii fit gave me...). i also lost a total of 7.5 inches. one of those inches was from my lower arm and another half inch from my upper arm! i was shocked! granted i've been working my arms like crazy but even when i lost all that weight a few years ago i didn't lose a thing from the arms. so - i was very happy. i just wish i could actually see the difference......

after writing that post yesterday and getting carrie's response i did up a master list last night. and it turns out it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. i'm only in need of 4 addresses! i had all of the other ones - on bits of paper - luckily they were all in one place. so i unnecessarily freaked out. it happens, right?

found out i have to tweak the seating chart. had a few add-ons. shoudln't be a problem. and like i said - no one is going to be chained to their chairs. i don't think i sat any mortal enemies next to one another so there should be no battles.

still working on the groomsmans gifts. but they should be done and in the mail tomorrow. again - hopefully.

everything is set for the ceremony. vows are done. wine ceremony supplies are ready to go. my sister is doing a reading. my brother-in-law is going to be singing. the only problem is we haven't been able to touch base with the officiate. but she's a good family friend and i know she's been busy lately - so i'm not worried. regardless - chris and i will be married when all is said and done.

and not that this has anything to do with anything but the wedding liscense for the county we live in is butt ugly. and now you have to have four witnesses! crazy. plus - i was always under the impression that we would sign our liscense but no - our names our just typed on there. we don't sign anything. that just seems stupid to me.....

i'm eating a banana right now.

oh - been getting some good music selections so thanks :) one i forgot about but am so glad it was brought to my attention is 'celebrate' by kool and the gang. i love that song :)

is it normal for brides who have otherwise been find and calm enter a brief freak-out phase. one that might involve tears and contemplation of why they just didn't elope like a sane person? i'm sure it is. that happened to me the other night. and the thing that set it off was so small - so meaningless. hmph. all is good now. :)

i'm rambling. so i'm going to just go ahead and stop. 11 DAYS!

118. Daze

2009-04-27T13:58:00.003-05:00

i'm finding myself in a daze lately. a happy daze. a nervous daze. an excited daze. an anxious daze.....

this weekend we were supposed to go up to duluth. that did not happen and that's okay. i had a lot of things to get done and enjoyed being home to do them. i.....

burned more cd's for the favors - still about about 50 left to do

worked on the seating chart. kelly was right - that was hard! luckily i had my future sister and brother in law over (along with chris) to help me out. we figured it out. i think. i hope. i'm not going to worry about it anymore. it's not like people are going to be chained to those chairs - they just have to eat in them. hopefully no one has any problems with my arrangements. i hope. ugh. stop worrying!

was going to work on place cards. ended up not doing so. well sort of. they are supposed to be color coordinated according to what dinner people chose (roasted chicken, tangerine glazed chicken or mushroom pasta) - i chose to do the colors of the wedding. brown, gold and ivory. pretty. but a) our printer is almost out of ink and we are poor and b) printing on brown would not work on our printer c) i don't have some people's names - just a Mr & Mrs John Smith or something of the sort d) i bought special pens to write them out myself but it didn't look as good as i thought it would...

where am i going with this? i've decided to just post my brother at the sign in table and he'll have a guest list with names, table numbers and food choice. people will tell him their names - he will tell them their table number and then hand them the appropiate colored tent card to place at the table so the waiter knows what they are eating. make sense? tacky? i need your opinion!

that was it. oh. while carrie provided with me music selection the rest of you (if anyone else actually reads my blog...) did not give me any music help! i've upped the decades to include the 80's - who doesn't love dancing to great 80's music? send your suggestions!

oh. got my garter in the mail :) very cute.

that is all for now. oh. except for this. i'm frustrated. i have a crap of a master guest list. it doesn't include addresses. i wish to god i had made this when my mom and i were doing all the invites. i had to text people for addresses. e-mail them. and now i don't have those things anymore. perhaps i'll have to have david make everyone include their address in the guest book - yes! brilliant! i was dreading figuring out the thank-you's.....

okay. that is all. for now. for real.

117. Birds

2009-04-27T07:52:00.003-05:00

i don't hate birds by any means. not at all. but this morning i could have strangled two of them if i had been given the chance.....

i had another headache going to bed last night. while it wasn't extremely painful it was there and made it difficult to get a good sleep. this morning - an hour before my alarm went off - this bird starts at it. i don't know what it's called. i've heard it my entire life. it's always annoyed me. it sounds like a squeaky door hinge that someone just keeps opening and closing and opening and closing. weet (higher note) weet (lower note). pause. weet. weet. pause. weet. weet. etc.....

finally i was able to block it a bit and fall back asleep. then the woodpecker came. it's been here for about 3 weeks now and i swear is jack hammering into our apartment building. it's so close. i can feel it. and so loud!

all i wanted was to enjoy that last hour of sleep. stupid birds.

on a completely different note: ONLY 12 DAYS UNTIL WE GET MARRIED! AHHH!!

116. Thank You Bea Arthur

2009-04-25T22:26:00.004-05:00

chris and i were out doing a bit of shopping today. as i got back into the car after running into a store he said he had some sad news. then he showed me his phone and there was an article. bea arthur passed away at the age of 86. it made me tear up.....

i have and always will absolutely love and adore The Golden Girls. always.

i remember in college my friend heather and i would take time each night and watch an hour of The Golden Girls and then an hour of Designing Women on Lifetime. now i watch each day after work on the Hallmark channel for an hour. doesn't matter that i've seen each episode a dozen times or more - i still love them! i own 3 seasons on DVD and can't wait to get the rest.

and speaking of those dvd's - chris and i are going to watch a few of the episodes in honor of dorothy. (chris likes them too!)

so here's to you dorothy. thank you for being a friend! you will be missed!

hmph. i don't normally get all sad like this about someone i didn't even know. i just really really loved that show. thanks bea.

115. No Hokey Pokey Please!

2009-04-22T12:21:00.005-05:00

THE WEDDING IS 17 DAYS AWAY!

i need help with the music selection.....

we've picked out the songs we're walking down the aisle to and such. we've also picked out the music to play for the cocktail hour. and i've also picked out most of the music for the reception but i just want some ideas.....

i've picked a lot of 50's and 60's. i love love love that music and felt it was something that everyone would enjoy - not something obscure like all bjork music or something. i also included some songs from ABBA. a B52's song. some 'girls just wanna have fun'. some madonna. i even threw in a NKOTB song for me and kelly :) and possibly an N'SYNC song (it's 'bye bye bye' and yes - there is a reason for it)

i like all kinds of music but the 50's and 60's era is my favorite so i've just been kinda stuck there. so if anyone has any suggestions on fun dance songs - let me know! if you also have any suggestions from the 50's and 60's era - let me know them too! :)

we do have a dj and i do trust him but music is huge for me and i just want to make sure a bunch of crap isn't played. i requested no chicken dance or hokey pokey. i also requested no prince. not that i don't like the man but i couldn't take the chance 'pussy control' might get played...(shudder)...i can't stand that song.....

so...HELP!

what else?

we got our marriage liscense! yay! although i have to admit i'm more than irked. it cost $110. that didn't bother me so much as the fact that if we had taken some religious pre-marriage class we would have got $70 knocked off that $110! that's bull. you can get married in a court house with no mention of god and it's a marriage. a legal contract. so why does having a blessing from god constitute some massive discount. what a load of crap.

i still feel like i have a lot to get done. i have to finish making the favors. i have to create the seating chart. i have to get the place cards written out. and chris and i set a goal to lose 6 pounds each by the wedding. so we've got 17 days!

i'm hungry - is it lunchtime yet?

114. So True

2009-04-14T22:50:00.001-05:00

especially me

113. Fake

2009-04-14T21:43:00.005-05:00

i'm back. let's see how long my attention span will last tonight.....

observation: typing with fake nails on a laptop sucks balls.

my mom has a wonderful lady that does massages and nails - she's even going to be doing the flowers for my wedding! she gave my mother something called a fiber wrap on her nails to help them grow faster and stronger. i wanted to get something like this. i'm a nail biter and i have no problem with this - but it means i don't have the prettiest nails. not that cared very much but i thought i'd be nice to have them looking halfway decent for the wedding. i decided to get a fiber wrap too.

now granted - i was a dumbass. i didn't do the proper research. i walked into one of the many nail salons this town has to offer and asked if they did fiber wraps - okay - i forgot it was called a fiber wrap and i asked for a nail wrap. regardless - the lady inside said they could do this service. never having had anything done to my nails - ever - i had no idea what to expect.

so i sat there. i sat there while this lady did a bunch of crap to my nails. while she spoke in a language i didn't recognize to her other co-worker. while she spoke on her cell phone to her friends. so awkward. it was one of those things where i knew i should have said something or just left but i thought i was getting what i asked for. and having no one speak english to me for more than few sentences kinda threw me off my guard. and in the end i ended up with fake gel nails. and while they're not long long - they're long to me and driving me nuts. plus i woke up at 1am from my fingers being in so much pain!

all morning at work i searched for a place to remove them. out of about 18 nail salons in the area only one spoke english and actually understood what i was asking when i called. unfortunately they didn't provide gel nail removal. and all the while i'm hearing/reading stories about how incredibly painful the removal process is and how bad these gel (powder gel) nails are. how awful my nails are going to look when i get them removed. how they aren't going to be healed in time. how i'm going to be in severe pain. good god. finally a co-worker suggested i call the beauty school in town. i do and low and behold they speak english! the lady in charge of the nail department explained the process to me - that they don't soak and pop off the nail - they file it down. and that the only way it would be painful is if someone filed too deep. but she promised that they would leave a very thin layer of the gel on (not enough to notice) but enough not to hurt my actual nail.

i have an appointment tomorrow right after work. i cannot wait! i can't stand having this shit on my nails. i woke up this morning and scratched an itch in my nose - gave myself a freaking nose bleed. once these things are off i'll attempt to be kind to my nails and perhaps get a little manicure before the big day but after that - bring on the nail biting. there are far worse habits i could have.....

now that that is off my chest....

the wedding is right around the corner! i can't believe it! not too much left to do....

friday kristin is coming over to help me burn cd's for the favors. i ordered a bunch of cd packaging kits that should be really cute so i'm excited. now if i could actually make the playlist for those cd's.....

i had another dress fitting this past saturday. the dress still fits. i could stand to lose a bit of back fat - more on that in a minute. as i was standing there looking at my dress i couldn't help but notice those annoying bits of chub right next the arm-pit. it's like a mini-boob. yuck. i asked the lady helping me out there was anyone out there who did not have those. she said even the really skinny girls have them becuase the corset bra pushes everything up up up. then she looked at me and said 'you know - i don't think you need that corset bra!'. so she took it off and wow! the dress looked so much better! those bits of chub went from being the size of a small plum to being the size of a little walnut :) what a relief! and it saved me $80 on that damned bra :) yay!

i only have one more appointment before the wedding! luckily kelly will be at this one - she's going to learn how to do the bustle on the dress. thanks kelly!! :)

back to fat - back fat that is. (i'm lame - i know this) after seeing the back of me i made a pledge. i do the treadmill about 3 times a day for 20 minutes a shot. i usually get up each morning and do one of these bouts. only now i do 3 sets of 20 push-ups before the treadmill and 3 sets of 20 after. i started on sunday night and have stuck to it :) and you know - i thought it would be arms and shoulders where i'd feel it - but nope - it's my abs! nice to know i'm working more than i thought i was :)

alright. i'm gonna go get ready for bed. i can't take anymore of this fake nail typing. hopefully tomorrow goes well!

112. Work Countdown Begins

2009-04-13T14:59:00.002-05:00

i counted today. only 17 days left of work before the wedding and honeymoon. WAHOO!

in other news.....

the last time i posted i had a massive insanely painful headache. it lasted all thursday night. i was in so much pain i contemplated going into the er in hopes they could give me something. i refrained - too worried about the bill. i got one crap hour of sleep. the next morning i still felt like my head was on fire so i called into work and went to the doctor. they gave me a prescription for new headache pills and a shot in my hip to help with the pain i was in at that moment. then they left me to lay down in the dark for about 20 minutes while the medication did it's thing. it sort of worked. definitely reduced the pain but i still had a headache all weekend. hmph. luckily they've gotten much better this past week :)

hmmm....

turns out i don't feel like posting right now. i've got no attention span. maybe later :)

111. 18

2009-04-02T21:46:00.001-05:00

hour 18.

headache still here.

headache is 100x worse than when it started at 4am this morning.

eyes are constantly watering.

it's moved from all over my head to just the left side.

i want to rip out the left side of my brain.

i want to be able to sleep.

i fucking hate these fucking headaches.

110. 1.5

2009-04-02T15:01:00.003-05:00

the headache is still here. STILL.

all i want to do is close my eyes. let them rest. (1.5 hours and counting...)

what a bummer. it's absolutely gorgeous outside and all i want (need) to do is sleep. why must headaches show up at the suckiest times?

i had one like this the day of my shower and bachelorette (i still need to blog about those!) and while i still had a lot of fun i was super bummed - i wasn't all there ya know?

on the upside i did schedule a doctors appointment for next thursday. a different doctor too. hopefully i can get some meds that work. i live in fear that i will have a headache like this the day of our wedding!

109. YaY Sun!

2009-04-02T09:33:00.003-05:00

i woke up this morning to find my bedroom bright with sunshine! Hooray!!

unfortunately my enthusiam was a bit dampered by the fact that i'd woken up 3 hours earlier with my 6th headache since last Saturday. 6th!

i still have it.....

i'm hoping i can make a doctors appointment next week. if they tell me i can't have the time to do so...well....i don't know what i'll do....

yay sunshine........

108. Missing: Sun

2009-04-01T13:43:00.003-05:00

my posts have had a rather negative tone to them lately....i apologize.

i blame the following.

weather. one wet cloudy day is fine. but days upon days upon days upon days is just too much! i can't handle it! it makes me grumpy and pissy and sad.....

the complete lack of anything to do at my job. they've had two years to develop my position and i do less work than when i started! i'd love to find a new one but the chances of doing that are pretty slim. in the meantime i can only pray that times speeds by more quickly why i'm here.

headaches. i am so fucking sick to god of cluster headaches. i wasn't even going to bring it up but i'm getting one - just in the few seconds it's taken me to type this post! that makes 4 in the past week! i need to go to the doctor and get pain pills that i can take without then having to take a nap. i loved that - the doctor gave me pills for migranes (despite the fact that i do not have migranes) and then said they only worked if i layed down. so when i get a headache at a quarter to 2 at work i'm supposed to do what?

i promise to make an attempt to be more positive. an attempt. the weather forcast is looking bleak so this streak might continue for a few more days....if it bugs you go here

107. 6.5

2009-04-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

6 hours 30 minutes

i'm going to lose my fucking mind

106. Not 4!

2009-03-30T15:41:00.003-05:00

currently in the throes of trying not to get headache #4 of the week.

someone walked in to the building. someone who thought it'd be a fantastic idea to sit in a bathtub of perfume and soak.

i shit you not - she came in 30 minutes ago and the smell is still so strong i'm trying not to choke. i have to breathe through my mouth and i can taste it.

why do people find it necessary to do this?

has no one close to them (although considering their stench i doubt they have anyone close to them) not told them HOW STRONG their perfume is?

if i get yet another monster headache i am not going to be a happy camper......

105. Sounds of Weekend

2009-03-30T13:48:00.007-05:00

weekends. the end all too soon.....

this weekend chris and i were a) actually home and b) actually got out of the apartment and did things other than run errands - yay!

on saturday we headed over to the history center and saw a map exhibit that chris has been wanting to see for awhile. very interesting. they had a lot of old maps - chris's favorite - that show how people viewed the world throughout the years. my favorite was a map of the mississippi river that rolled up like a tape measure into a brass case.

we also went through 'if these walls could talk' exhibit. i first saw it with my mom years ago and then again on my first date with chris. if you live in the area and have not seen it - i highly recommend it. very cool.

later that evening we headed out to dinner at our favorite restaurant - tum-rup-thai - yummy! then it was off to orchestra hall for the minnesota orchestra's sampler concert. second time i've been there (the first was for the puppini sisters [check them out!] concert last month). it was a great evening of music and at a wonderful price - $15 for the both of us! while we couldn't afford to become members we do plan on going back around thanksgiving to see/hear hansel and gretel. i'm also really excited to see/hear the wizard of oz (part of their cinema program - you watch the movie on a large screen while the orchestra plays all the scores) - they did a sample of it that night and it was fantastic :)

yesterday we headed over to the science museum to see the omni film 'adventures in wild california' it was really good. skydiving. surfing. tree climbing. the only thing (suprisingly) that made me look away was people working on the golden gate bridge. walking up and down the big rigging. i cannot handle heights!

so there ya go. our weekend. :)

104. Ding Dong

2009-03-30T10:09:00.003-05:00

ding dong the guard is gone!
which old guard?
the snotty guard.
ding dong the snotty guard is gone!

not only that but my headache seems to be lifting (hope i didn't jinx it by mentioning it...)

monday is looking a bit brighter :)

103. Frump

2009-03-30T09:21:00.006-05:00

monday mornings are not my friend.

with them comes the return of work. they also mean that the frump dump guard is on duty.

swear to god - this guard has been sick since he started about 3 months ago. he sits directly behind me. so not only do i get the lovely odor of feet, cig smoke and grease (it was so bad one day i had to make him move to the donor wating room) but he constantly is sniffling and snotting - the kind you can feel go down the back of your own throat. gag. and he coughs. but not a normal cough. more like a 'hack hack hack hack' - he sounds like a cat with a nasty hairball. horrid. and he's a slob. i came in one day to to find his uniform shirts spread out all over the floor, newspaper everywhere - food everywhere. disgusting!

sorry. i just had to get it off my chest. i feel like if i hear him honk, snot or hack one more time i'm going to turn around and smack him over the head (after i get a rubber glove becuase i don't think he's washed his hair since he started working here either...). he's just a big fucking frumpy douche.

what happened to natural selection?

only 34 minutes of his shift left - thank goodness.....

another fun thing - i'm currently having my THIRD cluster heacache in a week. perhaps that's making me exceptionally crabby this morning.........

102. Brad Pitt

2009-03-27T10:34:00.003-05:00

some more things....

1. i had a strange dream with brad pitt in it last night. no clue why. but he had only 3 children. they were all wearing white pants and long sleeve shirts with these super light aqua marine tunic type things over them. they were also all extremely pale with white blonde hair. we were staying at his moms house. evidently i'd hung out there with him before. the nanny was there. i remember being scared to meet angelina. wierd......

2. the sun was out for a tiny bit this morning. i hope it comes back. if i have to take another grey day i'll fall asleep at my desk. that and it's friday - the afternoon that d-r-a-g-s by. is it 4:30 yet?

3. i realized that my car payment does not have to come out of this paycheck. that means i can afford to buy the bouquet i ordered from etsy. along with the book i had specially ordered. i can also order the candy and cd packaging kits for the wedding!

4. i'm kinda crabby. or just have no patience. i attribute it to the weather, the fact that my eating and exercise schedule is so out of whack and the fact that i'm having yet another cluster headache but have no meds left to treat it :(

5. the cake topper did not arrive last night. hopefully it arrives tonight - i'm excited to see it!

6. i still cannot figure out who sent the mystery RSVP. although i just remembered one person i hadn't thought of before - it has to be her!

7. writing thank you notes is hard. i feel like i'm not fully conveying how thankful i really am.

8. i still need to post about the shower/bachelorette. i will do that this weekend. promise.

guess that's all for now.

101. Chick-A-Boom!

2009-03-26T09:51:00.002-05:00

i have that song stuck in my head and have no idea why.....

some things.....

a) our wedding is in 44 days. 44 DAYS!

b) it was two years ago today that i moved down to the twin cities. that day saw a record temp - 81! today it was 28 when i got to work.

c) it's been continually grey since sunday. grey wet cold slop. it makes me want to sleep/eat all the time.

d) i need to exercise. eat better. the chipotle we had for dinner last night does not factor into that.

e) the cake topper i ordered should be arriving today or tomorrow!

f) i got an RSVP with no name. but these people would like to eat tangerine glazed chicken.

more later. birthday cards await!

100. Thank You

2009-03-24T21:28:00.006-05:00

this past weekend was my first shower and also my bachelorette party. all hosted by my friend and matron of honor - carrie :)

it was AWESOME!

i have lots to blog about in regards to it and maybe even a few pictures to post. hopefully i'll have time to do that tomorrow night.

in the meantime i just want to say Thank You to carrie. i really don't know how to tell you enough that i had a fantastic time. it was way beyond anything i was expecting - awesome! i also want to thank everyone who came! i was really touched :)

more to come! :)

99. YAYness & Pizza!

2009-03-20T17:57:00.003-05:00

YAY!

i escaped work! the numbess has started to seep from my brain! (ewww...don't think i like the word seep....)

now i can fully concentrate on fun things like.....

pizza. pizza and 7-up with grenadine. happiness.

the fact that KARI IS GOING TO BE HERE IN 5.5 HOURS!!!!

98. Losing Mind

2009-03-20T16:03:00.002-05:00

my brain hurts.

between the constant grey sky outside, the fact that nobody is on the same floor as me except for a certain employee who just stops by sometimes and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks to the point where i want to poke my eyes out and rip out my ear drums and another employee who uses the phone across from my desk to leave messages for people and finds it necessary to repeat himself nine times (i counted) and the fact that time is going so fucking slow..........

i'd rather watch cement dry.

97. Maid of Honor

2009-03-20T15:14:00.003-05:00

kari. my maid of honor. she's arriving tonight on a plane. from ohio.

i'm so excited to see her! it's been almost two years! that was when chris and i took a trip down there. the last time she was up here.....over 15 years ago!

and of course becuase i'm so excited the afternoon has decided to d-r-a-g by.....

96. Sterilized Super Glue

2009-03-19T10:57:00.004-05:00

i should have known better. and i had a bad feeling when i picked up that bruised apple.

i was cutting up my apple this morning and noticed it had a bruised spot. so i went to cut it out. never cut towards yourself. i know this. but i did. i sliced open my left thumb.

i've cut fingers before. i'm not freaked out by blood. but this splashed on the wall and i freaked. i rinsed it off. wrapped it in a paper towel and it bled through. wrapped it in another and it bled through. i called chris who had just left for a conference for work. he told me to wrap it again and just hold it tight. i did. he said he was coming home.

i felt bad. making him come home like that. but i'm glad i did since he decided i should go to the ER. i was feeling pretty woosy too so he drove me there.

two hours after the cut i'm all fixed up. tetanus shot too. stitches would have made a cooler story but i got the fancy super glue instead. can't get it wet. washing my hair is going to be a bitch.

95. Petite. Jeans.

2009-03-18T15:08:00.003-05:00

my first shower is this weekend. very excited about it. (thanks carrie!)

then i started to wonder what i was going to wear!? while i have been exercising and doing good i still don't fit into my jeans. i bought one pair that was supposed to fit me now until i shrunk but instead they are those obnoxious stretch jeans and if i wear them once they get too big after about an hour. so....

i got it in my head that i needed a new pair of jeans. easier said than done. i'm short. therefore i need petite jeans. unfortunately most stores only sell those sizes online and i wasn't about to pay $22 for overnight shipping - wtf? i'm really not even willing to pay shipping and handling for jeans that should be sold in the store. i mean really - the jeans they sell in there - if i hold them up to be the proper length for me the waist hits my boobs. i'm sorry but i don't see mass amounts (or really any for that matter) of women walking around whose waist is that high.

and now they have what are called fashion jeans. these styles do not come in a petite option - even online. so...what? short people can't be fashionable?

annoying....

luckily i found a super cute pair of jeans. they fit. and they were only a tad bit too long - not yards like some pairs. and doubly lucky - i have a co-worker who is willing to hem them for me :)

so there ya go. that's my exciting news for the day. that and i managed to get up this morning and workout. granted i just stared for the most part at the people on the dvd doing ab exercises instead of doing them with them (i hate burpies...). i did do a big chunk of it though. i also did the treadmill and lifted weights. yay me.

94. Tic-Tac

2009-03-17T14:05:00.004-05:00

i've become obsessed with orange tic-tacs. a container a day. it satisfies my sweet tooth without all the crap. now if only someone would leave me an entire mailbox full alla juno.....

2 hours 20 minutes till i get to go home.

chris and i are going to run over to the wedding shoppe and finalize the tux order tonight. very happy about that. i think it might cost a bit more than other places but they had the exact colors i wanted. their customer service was way better! the place we checked out in duluth the girl looked like she was bored beyond belief and was rather rude in my opinion.

hmm.

that's all i got right now.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

93. 9:54 a.m.

2009-03-16T09:54:00.004-05:00

i'm more awake now. not enough to think of a more creative title though....

how about an update?

- i had a dress fitting appointment this past saturday. you might remember me mentioning that last time i tried on the dress i had about six boobs. that is gone. it fits! i need to tone up my arms a bit more and could probably stand to lose an inch around my middle but that shouldn't be a problem at all. very happy :)
- chris and i looked at more tux's and i think i've finally made up my mind. :)
- i've ordered my bouquet. not going to say anything yet other than it's not flowers. and that i'm very excited about it.
- i found a guestbook on etsy that's super cute and was only $10 :)
- the invitations were mailed - i mentioned that. when we came back from duluth this weekend we already had 3 RSVP's! :)

hmmm.....

guess that's all i can manage right now. i think my spurt of being semi-awake is fading and i'm now starting to daydream about a nap after work. ah...sleep... :)

92. Zzzzzzz.....

2009-03-16T07:50:00.003-05:00

i feel so exhausted. moving takes major concentration. i just want to sleep for about two days straight right now.....

unfortunately i have to go to work.

but as soon as i get home i'm jumping into bed. a nice nap is needed.

stupid cold.

91. TcrapF

2009-03-13T22:42:00.002-05:00

tcf bank sucks balls

i've had enough crap and poor customer service to last me a lifetime

luckily i switched banks this week. and when asked at the new bank who my current bank was and i said tcf they said 'i'm sorry'. so am i. so am i........

90. Etsy

2009-03-12T22:30:00.001-05:00

i love etsy.

that's all.

89. 2 15's = 30

2009-03-12T09:34:00.004-05:00

here is my problem.

here at my job (and most jobs) i am supposed to recieve two 15 minute breaks. I never recieve these. despite getting an e-mail from my boss asking me when i would like to take them. and i can't just take them on my own - someone has to be covering my desk.

i'm fairly certain that if i bring this to their attention i will be made to feel that it is my fault. that i should have said something (despite the face that i have).

i bring it up becuase i've been getting some flack about my time off. our vacation policy just changed. thankfully i had my honeymoon time approved before this. i have 68 hours of accumulated sick time. i was told that i cannot take more than two hours for a doctor appointment. but that's beside the point....

those breaks add up to a half hour a day. that's 2.5 hours a week. i haven't had those breaks since the end of september. that's 52.5 hours of time that i feel i should recieve in vacation.

like i said. i've mentioned the lack of me recieving these breaks before. nothing. i no longer feel i should have to say anything - nor should i ever have. it is my supervisors responsibility to give me these breaks and if there is no one available to cover my desk that is not my fault.

i'm tired of getting flack and want to just point this out but....feel like i'll be made to feel it's my fault.

what would you do or what do you think i should do?

88. With This Ring....

2009-03-11T12:45:00.003-05:00

i've had many emotions in regards to the wedding. disbelief. stress. excitement. and now....

nervousness...

so far all of my focus has been on the reception and honeymoon. sure - i've thought about the ceremony but now i'm really thinking about the ceremony. about vows. i looked online at some examples and they all seem a bit - processed. but i don't think i'd be good at (nor does chris want to) writing our own.

i just want the ceremony to be short and sweet. meaningful but not a lot of pagentry.

i'm also having nervous/guilt twitches about involving others in the wedding. people have asked to help me on numerous occasions but i either don't know what i need help with or feel guilty asking for/accepting it. strange? i don't know.

i just have a sloshy yuck ball in the pit of my tummy right now....

[whimper....]

87. Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

2009-03-11T09:48:00.004-05:00

that's right. the wedding invitations are going to be mailed today! *

we were up until midnight. things would have gone much quicker had i actually put together a formal list of addresses. instead i was going off tiny bits of scrap paper. a lot of texts were sent and received and a lot of calls were made. but....it's all done. well...i still have about 9 more labels to print off tonight.....

hopefully chris can find a post office that is willing to hand cancel our invites. i'm worried that cramming them into the a machine will tear them up. when my mom asked at our local post office while she was buying stamps the guy was a bit of a dick and said they didn't have time due to cutbacks. excuse me? the post office is in trouble because people don't use it as much anymore and you're going to be rude to someone who is buying 240 stamps from you and wanting to mail 120 invites? enjoy delivering your penny savers dink.....

wow. we're actually getting married. not that i haven't realized this before but it's sinking in more...crazy....

*thanks to my mom and chris who spent they day (while i was at work) getting stamps and adhering them to the invites and also printing off reception cards and sticking them in the envelopes. thank you thank you thank you!

86. Just Shoot Me

2009-03-10T16:00:00.004-05:00

call me a bitch but i think that people who consistantly watch those daytime judge shows are trash.

where is the mental stimulation? entertainment? is watching people who somehow snaked around natural selection spat about about their bullshit amusing? it's pathetic.

it's also extremely annoying when it's being blared on a t.v. directly across from me at my job. i can't escape it. i want to fucking poke out my eyeballs with my own fingers. and what makes it even worse is that the two people watching it are actually discussing episodes they've seen in the past and seem to have a vested interest in it.

trash.

and good god - the commercials are too fucking loud. turn the god damned t.v. down. or better yet - unplug it.

AHHHH!

85. Double Agony

2009-03-09T07:54:00.003-05:00

it is monday morning.

i have a headache the size of texas. i've had it for 10 hours so far.

on a brighter note. or scary one. today is march 9th. then comes april 9th. the comes may 9th - my wedding day! ah! :)

84. B.O.R.E.D.

2009-03-06T12:26:00.003-06:00

no longer cranky. (i perked up a little after the guard left. perhaps it was him)

just bored. stiff.

being this bored means my focus and ability to concentrate is gone. i tried knitting. bored. reading. bored. looking for bridesmaids gifts online. bored. writing e-mails. bored. online food jigsaw puzzles. bor....wait.....

maybe i'll do a couple of those.

wow. the excitement in my day is astounding!

83. Crab

2009-03-06T09:23:00.002-06:00

i'm finding myself feeling rather cranky this morning. crabby. ticked off. annoyed. bothered. pissed.

no reason that i can pin point.

perhaps it's becuase i didn't get up this morning and walk. my leg has been killing me since last night though. stupid body parts.

perhaps its becuase people keep standing in the direct path of my radio signal making my mpr programs nothing but fuzz.

perhaps it's becuase the volunteer turned on the t.v. in the donor room. i hate that thing.

perhaps it's becuase the guard sitting behind me is a slob and full of snot.

perhaps i'm just a cranky bitch today. hmph.

82. Sprinkles

2009-03-05T22:15:00.002-06:00

i have an obsession with bryer's natural vanilla ice-cream (no other vanilla will do. i'm an ice-cream snot) and rainbow sprinkles. love them. a lot.

despite the fact that i feel like a whale right now. maybe they didn't make me bloated but it was the last thing i ate.

aren'cha glad i share everything with you?

and since i'm sharing....

i have so much left to do! or at least it feels that way.....
-create playlist for the reception
-find shoes for bridesmaids
-ummm....

brain is drawing a blank. perhaps the bloating went from stomach to head? who knows. bedtime.

81. Sir Paul? Make that Master Paul...

2009-03-04T08:35:00.004-06:00

it's official.

you can now get your MA in The Beatles.

that's right. you can now get a masters in The Beatles. where? liverpool of course!

perhaps i should consider going back to school? :)

80. Dark Brown Costs Extra....

2009-03-03T09:35:00.004-06:00

so i mentioned last night that i ordered our cake topper.

while it was a bit more than i originally thought i was pleased. it's more customized than most and will make a nice keepsake.

i looked at the webiste again this morning just becuase i wanted to see the topper again. admire it. then i noticed that it said 'strapless gown variation not available on this model' - that's fine. i'll take the version wtih strapes but they let me click on the strapless option and then charged me for it. they also charged me to change the color of chris's helmet when i noticed this morning that that should be free. hmph. so i sent an e-mail to them explaining that i would like those extra charges removed. hopefully they get back to me soon!

i also thought it was a bit odd that my hair color (dark brown) cost extra. if i had blonde, light brown, red or black it was free. but for the groom to have dark hair was free. what?

ah well. hopefully this all gets resolved. i really like this topper despite the hassle.

UPDATE: the company e-mailed me back this afternoon and got everything straightened out. if i hadn't been so blind i would have seen the mistakes i made when ordering - oops! but the topper should be here by the end of march. yay!

79. 24

2009-03-02T22:22:00.005-06:00

stupid jack bauer. doesn't he know i have things to do?

as much as this show irritates me (seriously - how many days like this can one person have?) i find myself glued to the t.v. whenever it's on (i blame chris who just had to watch). tonight was a 2 hour special. 2 hours of my evening...gone....

granted. i should have been walking on the treadmill while watching (i moved it into the living room for that very purpose). instead i ate dinner and possibly a few girl scout cookies......

but.

i did manage to notify my bridesmaids that their dresses arrived today!!

i ordered my wedding shoes - super excited about them btw....

i ordered our cake topper. it's a fireman carrying the bride :)

i contacted our dj and apologized for not having contacted him earlier - oops!

got our contract in with the hotel so people can start making their reservations (sorry reid - i'm slow)

just as i was feeling good about things i got an e-mail from our contact person at the wedding/reception site and she gave me a list of things that need to be specified in regards to the big day. oy!

i've also come to the hard conclusion tonight that i need to cut back my guest list a bit. granted i've printed out enough invitations for all the guests currently on our list but at some point i have to stop feeling guilty about not inviting friends from highschool that i've seen perhaps five times since then and none in the past two years. i doubt they'll care (if it all) as much as i've been allowing myself to think so......ya know?

so there ya go. anyone know how i can make some fast cash?

78. Funny

2009-02-26T22:18:00.002-06:00

ha.

ha. ha.

we experienced a rather large (the largest this winter) snow storm today. in response the head honcho made the announcement that all non-essential employees could go home upon receiving permission from their supervisor.

YAY! (i thought) because....
...definition of my job: least essential employee in entire organization.

(i spent the entire day doing virtual food jigsaw puzzles online)

seriously. i did.

then i get a call from my supervisor informing that my position has now been upgraded to essential.

so. i sat until it was time to go home. what normally takes me 15 minutes took me one hour and forty five minutes tonight. 1 hr 45 min. and those of you know me know that i do not handle traffic. it makes me want to poke out my eyeballs and drive my car into other cars.

i was determined to not get more stressed than i was. i was going to relax. ha. it's like my brain thought about that intention - laughed - and then pushed over the mountain of a freak-out-to-do list and make me panic.

but.

while i did pount and ponder the existence of life and what a joke my "essential" job is i also walked for an hour on the treadmill (that on top of the 40 minutes i did before work this morning). so. while i still kind of want to poke my eyeballs out i feel better. until i see my belly in the mirror. and jiggly arms.

going to go get ready for bed. dream of london. dream of london. dream of...crap...flying...

perhaps a cocktail and then bed. dreamless sleep.

77. Holy Poppins!

2009-02-24T22:00:00.006-06:00

guess what!?

we are going to LONDON!

now. let the panic attacks start as i begin to think about that the fact that we actually have to fly to get there.....

76. 80

2009-02-18T21:50:00.002-06:00

80.

80 days.

making progress. my mom came down last night and my future sister-in-law mandy came over to help with the wedding invitations. together we printed out 120 invitations. tied 120 ribbons. printed out 120 response cards. a successful evening.

now i just have to find shoes for the bridesmaid dresses. figure out what i want to do with my hair. create a playlist for the dj. decide if we're going to do a candy table and if so then order candy. determine whether or not we could afford to do london for a few days instead of our dream greek honeymoon. pick out outfits for the ring bearers. get the suits in order for the guys. buy stamps.

hmm. when i type it all out it seems like a lot more than when it was just in my mind floating about.

how about we list the things i have done and perhaps that list will be longer :)

i've booked and paid for the venue. found someone to marry us. bought a dress. taken care of the bridesmaids dresses. decided on the menu and alcohol selection. chosen what music to be played during the ceremony and for our first dance. bought and printed invitations. registered for gifts. finalized the guest list. ummm...i know there is more....

whatever. it'll get done and if not then we'll still be married at the end of the day which is what counts, right?

75. Target

2009-02-11T20:01:00.005-06:00

tonight i've decided will be dedicated to wedding related doings.

i purchased our invitations at michaels.

i edited and organized our registries with williams & sonoma and macy's. easy peasy.

then i went to edit our target registry. hmph. let me start at the beginning.....

we registered at target last month. we used the little computer station to get started and everything was going fine until we tried to print out our stuff - nothing came out. we waited. still nothing. we asked a store associate for help and she told us to try another station and start from scratch. we did this only to have it tell us that an account had already been created using that information. so we tried to look up our information and it said our account did not exist. wtf? we finally got it taken care of. the associated handed us the scan gun and told us not to register for any items on clearance as they would not be in stock closer to the wedding.

everything in target was on clearance!

i thought by now it would be better but i can't even get that far. i can't click on items we've already registered for to jog my memory. and when i go to add new items it only lets you do it by category. and for example - i went to fitness/exercise - it only showed me about 20 items. but if you just go to plain old target website and click on the same category you get pages upon pages of items to buy! wtf?

so. i guess i'm saying that if you're coming to the wedding and have a macy's or williams and sonoma (we registered for small things there not fancy schmancy stuff) please shop at those. i'm not happy with target right now. at all. hmph.

on to something more fun....

74. Sun Status: Peeking

2009-02-11T16:55:00.004-06:00

since i seem to be in the market for a bit of sunshine i've decided to go along with carrie and do this.

the first five people to leave me a comment will recieve something i've made!

the only rule is that you must make the same offer on your own blog

who doesn't love recieving a gift in the mail?

73. Missing: Sun.

2009-02-11T15:16:00.004-06:00

dear sun.

please return.

-michelle

yesterday i saw a counselor. my depression has grown. my anxiety has grown. my irritability has grown. my tension has grown. my sense of worthlessness has grown. my anger has grown. my emptiness has grown. in other words i've been feeling like my nerves are about fried. that there is a real chance i might lose my mind.

the counselor. still not sure what to make of him. feeling like i should have perhaps requested a female. not liking the fact that when i left not only did my eyes sting from crying so much but that i felt worse if that was possible.

i've been thinking about why all day. i've come to a few conclusions - none of which i feel like writing about at the moment. i made an appointment with a different counselor. that won't be for another month. i'll go to this first counselor again next week. let him know my feelings. see what he says. determine if it's worth my time.

i know that i shouldn't just hear what i want to at such an appointment but i also know that giving me even more insecurities will not help. at all. that and he gave me a book to read. haven't really started it yet but so far there is a little too much god in it for me. again. we'll see.

in the meantime i'll keep trying to figure out what is going on with me. depression is an extremely lonely place. on the one hand all you want to do is cry and complain. and you do. to those closest to you. to the point where you feel not only stupid (because if you could play back a video of one of your breakdowns you'd realize what a complete buffoon you look like) but like you're driving them crazy.

so then you turn inwards. you try to push it all down. you have no outlet for your emotions except a journal but your hand won't keep up with your thoughts. you start to realize you're causing your body physical harm.

what then? that is where i'm at. the what then. the stuck. the place where you don't feel like hanging out or making idle chit-chat - you just don't have the energy to form the words 'i'm doing fine/good/great' you just don't care. you are alone.

so. if you've been wondering where i've been - there you go. i know i'll be fine but it's hard.

and some sunshine would really help.

72. AH!

2009-01-16T10:34:00.002-06:00

i'm pissed.

i have so much i want to blog about - like the fact that i'm getting married very soon! i have lots and lots of pictures that i want to post! but i can't do any of it becuase our internet connection is just crap.

i finally gave up on getting any pictures uploaded and just blogged. i spent 40 minutes blogging. i went to hit publish and it deleted the whole thing and saying i had a problem with my internet connection. wtf?

comcast claims it's not them but that is just bullshit. and i'm sick of fucking paying for a service that we're not getting!

so....if anyone actually still checks my blog. i want to blog. i have lots of things to blog about. but i can't. right now i'm on my work computer again but i don't like signing into my account here becuase the system here is just complete and utter crap and i don't think it's very secure. AH!

so. hopefully soon i'll be able to blog about everything that has been happening. i'd also like to update our wedding website but unfortunately the thought of even using my computer (here or at home) just gives me a massive headache to even think about. Hmph.

71. Excuses!

2009-01-07T15:52:00.002-06:00

i haven't blogged in a long long time.....here's why.

comcast sucks.

our internet has been shit for weeks now. i tried blogging on numerous occasions but i had pictures i wanted to blog and they weren't able to upload due to such a slow freakin' connection. so i got frustrated and just didn't post.

we're working on fixing it. we called comcast and they said it was our computer but chris ran test that said otherwise. who knows. but hopefully i'll be back to blogging soon as i really miss this outlet! in the meantime i've started journaling.

and in case you're wondering how i'm blogging now - i'm at work. somehow the internet shields came down. hmmmm......

70. oh darling...

2008-12-17T18:09:00.005-06:00

...please believe me...

gosh i love the beatles. love them. listening to them right now. been awhile since i rocked out to some music. did my little chair dance. wrote a bitchy blog.* oh wait.....

work has been okay lately. still not challanged. but still employed which considering the state of things right now is nothing to turn my nose up at. but today i did.

don't get me wrong. there are days when i love the fact that i get paid to crochet and knit all day. today was one of those days. but i didn't love it. instead i had this awful mind numbiness take over my brain. that kind that makes you crabby about pretty much everything. that was me today.

blah.....

i got home. threw my bags and coat and the floor. felt like i wanted to scream at something. someone. anything. instead i checked my e-mail (our internet has been down since friday night and just started working again today!). i got a lovely comment from my carrie in regards to my previous post. that made me smile and brightened my mood a bit.

then i went over and read dolce's blog. she had a lovely post about her husband that made me sit back and realize that chris was just like that. it made me smile. it also made me realize that there was no reason for the funky shit of a mood i was in. it made me appreciate him all over again. when he came out of the other room (where i think he had been hiding from me and my mood) i told him i was sorry for being such a turd. i love that man. a ton.

after that i continued reading her blog and realized she gave me an award for my blog. :) never had one of those. it made my day. i think she was one of the first non-real-life-friends to comment on my blog and i've been hooked on hers ever since. so thanks dolce! you are fabulous :)

and now i'm off to spend some time with that hunk of a man i'm engaged to! i had more to post but i'll save that for another time :)

*it's been brought to my attention (on more than one occasion and mostly by my mother) that i should watch what i'm blogging about. watch my language. yet she didn't mind (and in fact liked) the one blog i wrote that i deleted out of worry of offending her. hmm.....

69. Pajama Party

2008-12-05T22:01:00.005-06:00

reasons to have a theme wedding. more specifically - a pajama party themed wedding.

1. let's face it. you're not going to lose that weight before the wedding. you will end up having six boobs in your dress unless a miracle occurs and they are able to 'let the dress out' enough to fit your fat self.

2. wearing pajamas for your wedding would be way more comfortable. if it were just you it might be awkward - that's why you theme the whole wedding around your comfort.

3. how were you supposed to know that the fucking chinese new year would affect when your dresses would be made. you knew you were supposed to order them soon but 4 days from now! who has the time for that? and your bridesmaids probably won't be happy about shelling out the dough on such short notice. instead of becoming bridezilla you've become the un-bride. the bride-to-be who does notta in preparation for her big day.

4. you've always wanted to throw a theme party. mainly a halloween costume party but may is hardly the time for that. well...unless you wanted to be completely wacky...and i suppose theming your wedding after a pj party is not entirely normal. even google had not results when you typed it in.

5. your mom thinks it's a cool idea. just so long as you wear that dress she bought you for at least the ceremony. (must buy black veil to cover up back fat)

seriously though folks. i'm lost here. i know i'm not great with planning. hell - if i were then i'd be thin and healthy and have a more fulfilling job. but instead i'm fat and sit on my ass all day long. so this wedding planning business isn't going to well.

a theme wedding is sounding so much easier right now. maybe not a pj party. any ideas?

68. More of the Asshole....

2008-12-03T19:00:00.005-06:00

i was just thinking some more.....

what i meant to get across before is that we live in this society of instant gratification. we have to have everything now! now! now! and if we don't get it now! now! now! then we throw a massive fit.

we got ourselves into this mess by our need for instant gratification and i just don't think that applying the same method to get ourselves out is going to work. yes - bailing out everyone on planet earth would be lovely. but we all know that the reason most of these people are in such trouble is becuase they were irresponsible to begin with - so what makes anyone think that giving these same fucks a shit ton of money is all of a sudden going to make them responsible? it's stupid.

as much as i hate to say it maybe what this country needs is massively difficult times. perhaps it'll teach us to conserve more. recycle more. save more. lose that now! now! now! impulse.....

67. Bailout Schmailout

2008-12-03T16:54:00.005-06:00

is anyone else tired of hearing about all of this bailout crap? about corporate CEO's flying around in luxury jets to beg for money while at the same time refusing to renegotiate their million dollar salaries. about head honchos getting the money and then going on same lavish retreat.

all this and then we have our government telling us to spend! spend! spend!

with what? monopoly money?

i get that things are bad right now. but what i don't get is the spending shit. shouldn't we be saving any money we have? no! no! let's break down the doors to wal-mart - kill an employee - and max out our eighth credit card on a bunch of shit that we don't need! hooray!

i was listening to the radio today and they were discussing the big 3 bailout. this woman was trying to defend them by saying that it wasn't their fault. times are tough right now. people can't get their credit approved to buy cars.

let's back track here. and pardon me if i don't have all the facts - i'm just calling it like i see it. correct me if i'm wrong. 'people cannot get credit approved'. hmmmmmmm......

perhaps people are having problems with their credit because they've bought a bunch of fucking shit in the past that they can't afford. like mcmansions. like houses on wheels that the auto industry calls cars (please. if you seriously went out and bought a hummer because you thought it was cool you're a douche. we all know you just have an incredibly tiny penis). and no i don't feel bad about those people that were duped into thinking that they could afford that big awesome house. you should be able to look at your salary of $50,000 and realize that you cannot afford that $300,000 home.

i suppose i sound like a big witch. i know there are hard working people out there who are in a crap situation that was beyond their control. they did what they were supposed to and lived responsibly. i don't mean to include them in this rant. i'm just talking about the fuckers who think they can go about willy nilly and then hold their hand out the minute it all goes wrong.

urgh. my thought process is just all over and not making sense. i just hate that people who fuck everything up get all this money and the ones who do it all right suffer. ya know?

i graduated high school. college. i work a full time job. yet if i lived on my own i'd be unable to afford my own place to live. i have to pay for my birth control. that one always kills me. the birth control. i work full time and pay for it. there are people out there who can get it for free. pills and condoms - two forms of birth control - free! yet they go out and make babies and then say they need help from the government. screw that shit. sex makes babies. buying all your crap on credit creates debt. common knowledge here.....

i'm going to go relieve some stress now. i'm so cranky i can't tell if i've made a point or just made myself look like a royal ass. ah well....

66. 36

2008-12-02T19:07:00.003-06:00

HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY BABY!

65. What have I been doing?

2008-12-01T22:32:00.008-06:00

good question. wish i had an answer.

oh wait. i do. getting fat. the kind of fat where you can feel your belly jiggle when you shouldn't feel your belly jiggle. the kind of fat that makes you wish sweatpants were acceptable attire for the work place. the kind of fat that despite making me feel like complete and utter shit anchors me to my couch.

would someone like to feed me? as in the way your pets get fed. only a certain amount in the morning and a certain amount in the evening. basic nutrients - nothing fancy. no ability to snack. i'd also like someone to volunteer as a drill sergeant. make me work out. make me. please.

at the rate i'm going my wedding dress is going to be displayed on a mannequin as it will impossible for me to fit into without looking like a whale. that is if chris still feels like marrying someone who is a foot shorter but is going to weigh more than him soon.

depressing.

on to other things......

i knocked a stone out of my engagement ring! luckily i was able to find it - such a tiny stone buried in our shaggy bathroom rug! it should be back on my finger again by friday.

i've been getting massively insane headaches that make me want to chop off my head. i've also discovered that imatrex may as well be a sugar cube for the amount of relief it brings me.

humidifiers for adults are incredibly boring. beige. so i bought the one intended for kids - it's a red dragon :)

i bought the humidifier in hopes that it will relieve my eye problem. since friday my eyes have been so painfully dry that having them open fully hurts. eye drops make it worse as they burn my eyes and turn them red.

i could power a car i'm so fucking full of gas. sorry if that is too much information. but seriously. what is wrong with me? no major changes in diet - just full of gas. stress? it's embarrassing. and i just shared it with the world luckily only a few people read this.....

hmmm. perhaps bloated gassiness is related to such a high weight number. fingers crossed. gas easier to get rid of then fat. but i still must get rid of lots of fat. not to be thin but to be healthy.

i think i've figured out what i want to do for our wedding invitations. now if i could just remember to order the supplies!

speaking of the wedding. not that anyone has to bring a gift but...the plates we registered for (at macy's are more than 50% off right now!)

tomorrow chris turns 36! he's in duluth right now which gave me plenty of time to make his cake and wrap his gifts :) (hmmmm....licking the cake batter bowl was probably not good way to lose weight)

chris and i are merging. we are now on the same health insurance. car insurance. renters insurance. we also decided to drop our cable. realized we were becoming mindless drones and also that cable was a major distraction from other things we should be doing - uhhh...like...working out for instance.

we signed up for netflix. probably not going to be good in the distraction area. ah well. tomorrow we should be getting a documentary about the south pole. sex and the city season one and the sopranos season one (i've seen all be the last season and so help me god if anyone ruins it for me.....)

despite vowing to make christmas gifts this year we've instead bought a lot. guess i'll sell those 150 coasters i made......

i'm currently in the process of making five different knitted/crocheted projects. hopefully they get done soon.

it's now 10:53 and i really should be going to bed if i have any hope of getting my larded self out of bed in the morning and on the treadmill before work! i'm hoping my little dragon helps my eye problem and therefore allows a better nights sleep!

64. Speechless (sort of)

2008-11-28T20:26:00.003-06:00

today is black friday. some go shopping at 3am for fun. others because they are slightly crazy. others........

did you here this story today?

i was shocked. appalled. outraged. disgusted. shocked. [yes - i realize i said it twice but that's how shocked i was]

how fucking insane were these people? it's a fucking wal-mart. wal-mart people. i mean - you shouldn't be going into a store like that to begin with but to go in with such force that you not only tear a door off it's hinges but you trample a man to death!!???

and not only this - when paramedics were attempting to save the man (once someone actually noticed he'd been trampled) people didn't even stop to notice. they were still rushing past to get those incredible savings.

how fucking pathetic is our country. i'm ashamed.

63. Rolls

2008-11-26T23:35:00.003-06:00

i am a bread fanatic. love it cooked but i especially love bread dough. call me wierd - i don't care. and now that the roll making has becoming my job i get to eat as much of the dough as i want! :)

the rolls this year would not have been possible without the help of my darling and wonderful fiance :) due to my nasty cardboard cut on my knuckle and bandaid covering it i didn't want to be mucking my hands around in the dough. chris "volunteered" to knead it for me.....

he wasn't too excited about it. very messy. very sticky. but he was a sport and they turned out wonderful!

62. Wedding Website

2008-11-24T22:56:00.002-06:00

....has been updated! check it out!

more to come soon!

p.s. needing help with color. right now it stands at ivory, brown and gold. but i feel like it needs another color color. thoughts?

61. You're Invited!

2008-11-23T20:34:00.003-06:00

i need your help!

i am now desperately seeking inviation ideas - preferably in a color scheme of brown, ivory and gold (light not brassy). i would also like them to be on recycled paper if possible. oh - and to not have them cost me an arm and a leg.

any help you can give me would be much appreciated! thanks :)

60. Oh Lord.....

2008-11-15T20:19:00.003-06:00

today i went and saw kelly (hi!) who i haven't seen in forever and a year it feels like! we played with the baby and talked about the wedding. i knew i still had a lot to do but wasn't prepared for everything she was asking me - but at the same time extremely thankful becuase i would have been clueless. she made me a to-do list and wants me to make progress on it weekly. hopefully i'll do it!
i did manage to get all the bridal party information sent out to everyone today which has been on my list for months! so very very very very slowly but surely.....

here is my list....

Working On:
Bridesmaid Dresses
favors - CDs
bridal party gifts
music playlist
slide show
thank you cards
registering
groom’s dinner
candy table
To Do:
Alterations
girdle/bra/slip
shoes
Chris – suit
groomsmen suits
menu
seating chart
invitations
wording of invitations
cake
jewelry
hair jewelry
Michelle’s wedding band
ceremony program
table #’s
Father/daughter song
centerpieces
mother of the bride dress
ring bearer pillows
flower girl dress??
card box
vows
wedding party song
announcement info
marriage license
garter
toast
ceremony specifics – readings?
guest book
ceremony wine
last name?
monogram
CD holder

59. So.....

2008-11-15T00:08:00.002-06:00

....i haven't blogged in awhile.

what have i been doing in the meantime you ask?

well. i've been extremely busy not working out. not getting prepared for my wedding - which is now 175 days away. not cleaning. not finishing crafty projects. not keeping in better contact with friends. not eating healthy. you know...the usual....

perhaps i need to get more of a routine going. and perhaps that routine could involve blogging. working out - must work out! i may have mentioned it before but i currently am sporting six boobs in my wedding dress. six. i will get married in my pj's before i look like that on my wedding day or have the dress taken out. must work out.

so what did i do instead tonight? i came home and weighed the options in my head. option a) do entire workout routine. feel really great about self. or option b) sit on sofa and eat pasta then cookie dough. nap. watch sex and the city.

i chose option b.

go me!

hopefully tomorrow will be better. today was kind of icky. work was - eh. i can't put my finger on exactly what it is - but sometimes i feel like i annoy the shit out of people. and today it didn't really bother me but it kinda did at the same time. bleh. i'm not going to worry about it. i'm better than that job anyhow! so there. hmph.

okay. this blog is going nowhere. i'm going to attempt sleep. wierd how during the week all you want is sleep. then friday shows up and i stay up late. not becuase i have big plans. an exciting life. but becuase i feel like i have to. well...not have to.

dear god. do people read this blog? such dribble. going to bed now. goodnight.

58. Obama & Mary

2008-11-05T19:12:00.004-06:00

the night before the election i had a rather strange dream with obama in it - my first ever dream with him. we were at a picnic in his honor and then decided to watch a movie. so there i was sitting on the floor with obama watching marry poppins.

where does our brain come up with this stuff?

so in honor of his election i'm making chris watch marry poppins with me tonight :)

'just a spoonful of sugar....'

57. And once again.....

2008-11-05T10:49:00.006-06:00

.....THANK YOU!

56. THANK YOU!

2008-11-04T22:42:00.007-06:00

55. It's Official

2008-10-22T17:45:00.005-05:00

this is me at 2:30pm this afternoon. 27 years old.

this is me at 4:45pm. the exact moment i turned 28.

this is where i was when i turned 28. sitting at a light waiting to turn so i could put gas in my car.

i tried to pump $10.22 but i wasn't fast enough with the lever.

all in all it's been a pretty great day thus far. chris was out of town last night but texted me this morning to let me know that he had hid my birthday card in his closet. it was so sweet it made me cry :) (i'm so lucky!) then he called me on my way to work to sing Happy Birthday :)

when i got to work i had 3 cards waiting for me. one from all the staff that the boss passes around. one from eric the guard ("the republican") that he had everyone sign. and one from sally - our volunteer greeter. she is super sweet - made the card herself and even threw in some nice change :)

i think chris's dad takes the cake today though. he and heather sent me a real card last night. this morning i got the following 2 ecards from him this morning - hillarious! in regards to the one with the word 'fuck' he said he though it would fit in nicely with the language i use in my blog. what? i swear?

my mom called later in the morning to wish me a happy birthday. i told her about all the cards i had recieved from chris's dad and she said he was trying to make her look bad since she hasn't even put my card in the mail :)

the envelope my card from "the republican" came in. very nice, eh?

so yeah. it's been a really good day so far. i'm always really touched that people remember my birthday since i so incredibly suck at remembering theirs! i try - really i try. and then fail. every time. perhaps i'll buy a wall calander this year. but then of course i'll forget to change the months on it. hmm.....

54. I'll be how old tomorrow??

2008-10-21T21:44:00.004-05:00

yeah. my thoughts exactly.

53. My My....Indeed

2008-10-15T21:16:00.005-05:00

that's right. that's neil young. and in keeping tune with my last post - if you don't know who this man is - you are a moron.

I GOT TO SEE NEIL YOUNG PERFOM LAST NIGHT - FOR FREE!

i will post more details later. i'll tell you this though - it fucking ROCKED!

52. Shut-Up Already. Please.

2008-10-15T20:27:00.004-05:00

i am so sick to god of this damn election i could scream.

chris is watching the debate right now and they were seriously arguing about who has stood up against their own party more. if you disagree with your damn party so much (McCain) then you should have fucking run as an independent. seriously - the man has run campaign ads showing how much he's fought against republicans. wtf?

and while i'm on the topic of stupidity and complete and utter morons - i'd like to take a look at drivers. if you cannot obey traffic laws - you are a moron. if you can obey them and choose to ignore them - you are a moron. if you speed more than 5 miles over the speed limit - you are a moron. if you cannot use your turn signal - you are a moron. i am seriously sick of people talking about how bad teenage drivers are. in the past oh - year - i could probably count on two hands the number of idiot teenage drivers i've encountered. adults on the other hand - shit - i don't have the time to count that high. you get your drivers licences when you're 16. after that you have to renew it. you might have to retake in written test when you become so old and senile that you can't even remember what a car is for. how stupid is this? people should be required to retake the driving and written portion of this test every 10 years (at least). because i'm telling you - teenagers are not our biggest concern. adults are.

and with that i conclude my nightly rant.

51. One More Thing....

2008-10-02T23:00:00.002-05:00

....lest i sound hypocritical myself let me add that i understand there will always be those who feel that homosexuality is disgusting. they have the right to feel that way. they do not have the right to deny them equal rights. period.

50. Ignorance

2008-10-02T20:44:00.008-05:00

i'm in the process of watching (although now i'm just listening to) the vice presidential debate. the topic of gay rights came up. i can't even begin to explain how angry hearing these ignorant fucks talk about this makes me. how fucking stupid can people be?

if you don't like swearing go read someone else's blog....

how people can have a problem with two consenting adults having a loving relationship boggles my mind. i'm literally so angry i can barely form sentences.

people who call homosexuality gross and disgusting are fucking ignorant bastards and in my opinion don't deserve the rights they have. i had a co-worker say to me that he saw to guys kiss on the street and it freaked him out. he was also kinda freaked out by a guy waiting in our lobby who happened to have a pink ipod and be knitting. really? what exactly about any of those behaviors affects your life? i remember hearing al franken say that just because he sees two men holding hands doesn't make him want to turn to his wife after 40 (don't know the exact number) years of marriage and say 'sorry honey - but that looks more fun.' if you are secure in your relationships than seeing someone else's - gay or straight shouldn't fucking affect you. the fact that it disgusts you shows how ignorant you really are.

and most people oppose this on a religious stance. they say it's not what god intended. how in the fuck do they know what god intended. and even if god did intend marriage to be between a man and a woman - religion in this country is supposed to be separate from the government and the last time i checked just saying 'i do' in your church did not mean you were married. marriage is a fucking legal contract - legal. you go to the courthouse to get it. so fucking take god out of it. if you believe in god and believe that marriage is between a man and a woman then fine - but do not ever tell me that god fucking dictates what i have the right to do in my personal life. ever.

hypocrites are what those people are. they go on and on about 'love thy neighbor' and then go protest that their neighbor bill is going to hell because he lives with his partner Sam. fuck that. if all these damned religious people are so up and mighty on the topic of marriage exactly why do they go to such lengths to deny that jesus had any kind of relationship (and god forbid an actual marriage) to mary? aren't those people big on marriage and then lots of babies? but according to them jesus didn't do any of that. perhaps jesus wasn't married - perhaps he was gay.

and then there are the fucks that go on and on and on and fucking on about whether it's something your born with or a choice. WHO THE FUCK CARES. i should be able to decide tomorrow that i'm fucking gay and not have it affect anyone but myself. so you're born with it. so you choose. i could care less. either way you still deserve to share the same legal rights as everyone else.

sorry if this blog isn't completely coherent. like i said i'm just incredibly angry right now. i just do not understand on any level how people who are anti-gay rights and anti-gay period do not see that this is just like racism. segregation. you are segregating a couple from seeing each other in the hospital. from sharing the same rights as other couples. yet most of these people will tell you that racism is wrong and that segregating is wrong but i don't see a difference - do you?

writing this has not calmed me down like i hoped it would. hearing both parties talk about this bullshit makes me not want to vote for either one. how can we tolerate such ignorance to lead our country? how?

why can't someone get up there and point out the fact that all of this is bull. because god forbid you tell the american people they're ignorant. well you know what america - a lot of you fucking are and you need to start looking a little harder at that fucking flag you fly. look a little harder at that constitution. liberty for all. justice for all. freedom from religious persecution. not just for the heterosexual.

49. Blah.....

2008-09-30T21:09:00.004-05:00

have not posted in about a gazillion years - or so it seems. must get life in some kind of order. list of things i have needed to do but never seem to do are......

1. remember birthdays. i suck at this. i never get cards/gifts out on time. ever. facebook is making remembering easier. unfortunately i rarely log on to it anymore....

2. wedding stuff. still have not updated site. still have not written glowing things about my wonderful friends who are going to be a big part of that day (i love you all - really!). still have not sent out wedding parties information to other people in wedding party despite promising to have it out by last sunday.

3. have not made out a budget for chris and i. talk about it at least three times a week and have still done nothing.

4. exercising. i did it tonight and hope to do it more. cannot have back boobage on my wedding day. cannot.

5. applied for jobs. talk about it. have done nothing. how exactly i plan to move and pay bills without doing this is beyond me.

6. eat healthy. damn smarties. damn ice-cream with sprinkles.

7. not stress so much. (if anyone figures out how to do this please tell me)

8. clean out car. it's a mobile garbage can. gross.

9. learn how to fix mistakes in knitting. this way i'll avoid crying when i screw up.

10. figure out what i want to do with my life. preferrably before i die.

11. show appreciation for my friends more. it's all inside - tons of great ideas and sentiments - just need to start projecting them.

12. seriously stop stressing. i feel an attack of vertigo on the horizon and this makes me very unhappy (and sick)

that's what i got for now. must go drink lots of water before i get even sicker. damned ears.

48. Well.......

2008-09-19T22:32:00.002-05:00

to quote chris's nephew who's lastest thing is to start everything he says by saying 'well........'

so....well........

i've been rather absent from the blogging world as of late. this was in part due to computer problems. it was also due to me hating the alternate computer for not showing any blogs - on anyone's blog - since mid august. i got frustrated and decided that my time would be much better sent sitting on the couch and playing with yarn and taking random pictures of myself with the cats......

chris just got home from work so i think i'm going to go chat with him for a bit. but i promise to do some more posting this weekend. i know you're all dying to hear about the excitement that is my life :)

47. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

2008-09-14T23:11:00.001-05:00

THE COMPUTER WORKS AGAIN!!!

THE COMPUTER WORKS AGAIN!!!

thank you SO VERY MUCH to chris's co-worker Jeff for getting this all figured out for us!

i'll write more tomorrow :)

46. Sugar Bullets

2008-08-31T13:58:00.006-05:00

chris and i have been venturing away from our normal routine of sitting on the couch watching the history channel or playing cribbage and have actually left the house in pursuit of fun activities. these have included (but have not been blogged about yet due to lack of being able to upload pictures into our dying computer) - the state fair, the science museum 'star wars' exhibit and a stuart davis show.

don't know stuart davis? if not, you should. when chris and i first started dating he told me that davis was one of his favorite musicians and that if we were going to last i'd have to like him as well. (he didn't really say it in those words but it was strongly implied...) he played a few tracks for me and at first...well...i wasn't getting it. not wanting to jeopardize our new relationship though i said i really liked it! :)

a few months ago he bought davis's newest cd and it turns out i loved it! the guy is hysterical! so - we found out he'd be playing at bryant lake bowl this weekend and went to see him. it was a short show (chris said he usually played a lot longer normally) but i loved it anyway. it was great to actually see him after hearing so much about him for almost two years now.

so - i highly recommend that you check him out. great stuff.

p.s. now i only need to see jack white perform at a venue that intimate and i would die happy :)

45. TGIF

2008-08-29T07:43:00.001-05:00

it's friday - it's a long weekend - i'm excited! :)

44. Isolation

2008-08-28T16:55:00.004-05:00

okay. i'm more than upset now. i'm getting serioulsy pissed off.

the united states would like to isolate russia for not abiding by the cease fire agreement in it's recognition of south ossetia's and abkhazian's independence. also - and most importantly (in their minds) invading georgia.

hello! does no one see how fucking absurd this is? georgia invaded south ossetia! russia reacted in an effort to protect the people of south ossetia. what is so hard to understand about this?

today putin claimed that the united states orchastrated this whole ordeal - as in they were behind georgia's attack on south ossetia. he claims they did this to give an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. i don't know about this last part but as soon as i heard of this mess i thought about the first thing he said - and i wouldn't put something like that past our government i'm sorry to say.

agh! what does our government not understand about the fact that we basically have no fucking miliatry to spare right now? what do they not understand about russia having a valid point? i am just shocked that no one in the higher ups (unless i'm missing it somewhere) is against this isolation of russia. do they not understand what a horrid idea this is? oh wait - the bush administration doesn't think. at all.

am i alone here? is anyone else worried about this? i wish i knew some way to get involved...it's bothering me that much.....

UPDATE:
i changed my mind. perhaps putin is right about this giving an advantage to a certain presidential candidate. by creating this whole mess with russia it brings back that sense of fear that the republicans have been oh-so-fond of using these past eight years. so is this a ploy to keep their control of the white house? i would not put it past them......

43. [[:whimper:]]

2008-08-27T22:59:00.005-05:00

normally i love thunderstorms - especially when they occur at night and you get to snuggle up in bed and listen to them. tonight should be one of those nights....

unfortunately i decided it would be a good idea to watch the 'sixth sense' when i saw it while flipping channels. that movie scared the shit out of me the first time i saw it (almost 10 years ago - can you believe that?) and still does. the lady in the bathrobe....yeeeee.....

add to that combo the fact that chris is on call tonight and had to leave just as we were getting into bed and it makes for one unable-to-sleep-scared-she'll-see-a-ghost girl.

UPDATE: 4am! that is when chris finally got home last night. 5 straight hours of fire alarms. oy.

42. Correct me if I'm Wrong....

2008-08-26T17:18:00.004-05:00

...but am i the only one more than slightly upset over this whole russia/georgia conflict - and not for the reasons that everyone else seems to be?

georgia invaded the semi-independent region of south ossetia on august 8th. although technically a part of georgia this region is made up predominately of people who speak russian and also carry russian passports and has claimed their independence since the early 90's. in response russia went in to defend these people (russia also claimed that georgia had killed russian peacekeepers and was also commiting acts of ethnic cleansing).

after this everyone seemed to jump down russia's throat at once. i am by no means pro-russia but in this instance it seemed to me that they had a valid point and that georgian president mikhail saakashvili was unprovoked in his attack on south ossetia. i was driving home one day and listening to people being interviewed who lived in the area of georgia where the russian army had destroyed at least two apartment buildings and they were furious with their arrogant president for having started this whole mess.

saakashvili claims that russia took advantage of the fact that the worlds attention was focused on the olympics when it invaded georgia. i'm sorry saakashvili - but wasn't it your country that invaded south ossetia on august 7th - right before the start of the olympics? so who took advantage of what here?

now today i hear on the way home that russia has decided to recognize the independence of not only south ossetia but also of abkhazian. this evidently did not follow the guidelines of the cease-fire that russia and georgia agreed to which stated that that decision would be discussed during further negotiations.

now i just glazed over most of this but am i wrong in thinking that the west has backed the wrong man in this conflict? to me - saakashvili comes off as a rather arrogant prick who got himself into a rather tight spot out of his own stupidity and is now crying that russia is bullying them. no one i talk to seems to not know or care much about this and that makes me even more upset. creating any kind of tension with russia right now when our military is stretched the max and beyond seems like the worst possible thing we could be doing. and the fact that both presidential candidates seem to back georgia does not ease my mind......

thoughts? opinions? is there something perhaps i do not know? like i said - correct me if i'm wrong....

41. And We're Off!

2008-08-24T15:14:00.001-05:00

.....to the minnesota state fair!

(we just got back from willmar - hopefully once our computer is up and running i'll be able to post pictures from both events! :))

40. why? Why? WHY?

2008-08-21T21:43:00.004-05:00

why is it so freaking impossible for me to find someone who is able to cut my bangs? why?

last time i got them done i went to trade secret and i loved them. beautiful. i went tonight and was happily suprised to see that it was the same lady! yay! everything was looking a-okay but then it started to go a little long. i think i chatted her up a bit too much and she just kept merrily cutting away - despite the fact that when done i looked like amelie's ugly cousin. i like my bangs at my eyebrows....not an inch above them! whimper......

hopefully my appointment at JUUT in a few weeks goes better. if so i'll just continue to go there - they give free inbetween cut bang trims :)

and perhaps the next time i get a really good bang trim i'll remember to take a picture so that i can bring it with from then on....

39. How??

2008-08-17T21:36:00.006-05:00

how could they do that to her? she came in fourth on the vault after the chinese girl fell on her knees and the korean gold medal winner landed out of bounds not once but twice??? seriously!??

someone needs to fix that error - it was unbelievable and i feel so bad for alicia....

38. Someday......

2008-08-17T12:20:00.004-05:00

someday chris and i will live in a house and have our very own washer and dryer.....until that day i have to share those machines with a bunch of fuck monkeys who cannot tell time.....

the washing machine takes 38 minutes. the dryer takes 55 minutes. i went up to start 3 loads of laundry (we only have 3 machines). two of the machines were full of wet clothes. i waited for about ten minutes and then just moved their clothes to the dryer and started my own. knowing that the dryer takes a bit longer i waited an additional 25 minutes before going to switch my clothes. i went up and the moron only dried one load of clothes and that load still has 18 minutes on it! the other load is still sitting there all wet!

i'm timing the fucker. i'll give them 20 minutes and then their shit goes on the folding table - wet or dry i don't care. it's inconsiderate and a fucking waste of my day to have to sit around and wait for some ass who can't tell time to finish washing their camo shorts.

sorry - i get slighty upset with idiots......

UPDATE:
so - i went upstairs only to discover that the little shit took out the one load and then started that other load! another 55 minutes to wait for a dryer! luckily i was able to cram 3 loads of wet laundry into 2 dryers. oh - and they forgot to clean the lint traps. Word to all Idiots: No one wants to clean off your nasty fuzz and icky hairs from the trap - do it yourself!

i'm done doing laundry for the day. i'll let chris do the rest tomorrow morning when they probably won't be so busy. i'm off to knit! :)